Framing and Reframing Your Successes and FailuresWritten by Oz Merchant, C.Ht., NLP Trainer & Coach
I don't get around to watching too much television. But other night a movie called Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo was on. Now I know that some of you who may have never heard of this movie may have some interesting pictures running through your minds. But it is actually just a comedy film, and a surprisingly good one at that. He is basically a gigolo for under privileged. His clientele include an 8-foot giant woman, to a woman with narcolepsy, and another woman with turrets. But instead of having sex with any of these women, he teaches them how to appreciate their differences and feel better about themselves.The one scene that really stands out in my mind is lady with Tourette's Syndrome (when someone will shout out obscene expletives). She admits to him that she can't go around churches, or elderly, or around schools, and she is basically limited to her home. So what does Deuce do? A brilliant context reframe. I'll explain what this is in a minute. He comes up with idea to take her to a baseball game. And when her turrets kicks in, she begins to get crowd worked up, and they all start shouting with her. It really was brilliantly simple. So what is framing and reframing? We constantly put frames around things we do and things we believe. Consider how you view your previous successes and failures. What kind of frame did you put around it? Was it a useful one? I remember talking to my wife about learning to drive, and it was interesting to hear her say that when she was first learning, her frame was "I'll never get this!" Whereas mine was, "Oh this is a cinch!" Two completely different frames and as a result two different behaviors occurred. It took her quite a bit longer to drive a car. As we talked some more, I realized that there were differences in our mistakes as well. When she made a mistake, she would say, "Oh great I did it again!" Whereas I would say, "Oh I need to remember to do that (the right way) next time!" And I usually did. Reframing is changing frames that have already been created. Now some of you maybe thinking, well isn't that kind of like lying. Well you have to realize that your initial perception was not really "truth" to begin with. It was just how you framed it at time. If it wasn't useful, then change it now. When I first learned about reframing, I utilized it to help her with her original frame she had about her driving ability. Now notice this often happens. She went from framing her experience of driving to her ability of driving. Now she had a less than useful frame of her driving ability. It had gotten to a point where this frame was making her accident prone. She would always avoid interstate too. So I took her to an empty parking lot one evening and in thirty minutes taught her to drive my manual shift car. And as she began developing new beliefs about her driving abilities and while having a positive driving experience, I looked over at her as she came to a stop and all I said was "How much easier will driving your car feel?" She looked back at me, smiling, and said, "Yeah!" That is all it took. She reframed all her previous perceptions of her skills and abilities about driving and made them more useful.
| | Spirit and the Law of Cause and EffectWritten by Lynn Claridge
Most of our troubles are bought about by exercising our own free will. If you have a war, there will be many people, who will ask, Why does Great Spirit not stop it? Why does Great Spirit not try to prevent it? The actual truth is that people of world are to blame. They choose to ignore laws. We cannot escape consequences of our actions. You cannot alter law of spirit. What has been sown must be harvested. If you have used selfishness, you must accept results. Pride, jealousy, envy, greed, malice, distrust and suspicion all these things, when they fructify produce war, distress and decay.Therefore, people might ask is “free will” limited, in sense that there are definite tendencies of events in relation to individuals. We all have tendencies and vibrations that we do not let go. Everyone is surround by radiations and influences, many of which can affect your destiny. When your ”free will” is used correctly, it allows you to conquer all that stands in your way of fullest expression of that part of spirit that is within you. Because you are spirit and spirit is you. A seed of spirit will be planted within every human soul, like a seed is planted in earth. If you give a seed what it needs to grow, seed will first shoot up through earth and eventually will bloom and bursts into full flower. The Great Spirit has planted seed within us all and you are gardener. It depends upon your efforts when or indeed whether fullness of flower is able to express itself. There is always your free will. If you keep seed in darkness and do not give it light, Great Spirit cannot be expressed through you. The law is perfect when it is in operation. Effect always follows cause. No individual has power to alter by one hairs breadth sequence of cause and effect. That which is harvested must be that which is sown in soul of every individual. The law of cause and effect is basic, fundamental, and unalterable because you can only harvest what you sow. Effect must follow cause with accuracy. In turn, effect becomes cause, by which another effect is set into motion, producing another cause. The process is a constant one. Throughout vast variety of phenomena of nature, everything small or large, simple or complex follows law of cause and effect. Nothing can interrupt that sequence.
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