You Made A Mistake? Way To Go!

Written by Rosella Aranda

You Made A Mistake? Way To Go! Mistakes have gotten a really bad rap. Whether you call it an error, a blunder, a screw-up, a faux pas, a gaffe or a boo-boo, no one wants to be guilty of committing one. The fear of not performing "up to snuff" leads many people to procrastinate or even worse, never to act at all. For many, this has become a major debilitating problem. Besidesrepparttar obvious lack of productivity andrepparttar 146001 numerous aborted projects, this pathological postponement of duties leads to: -a guilty conscience -inability to enjoy our free time -harsh internal criticism -severe mental conflict -rationalization (that even we ourselves don't believe) -lowered self-esteem Our list is hardly complete but it's already hideous enough. SO WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ALREADY? Why does making a mistake seem like such a life and death situation for so many of us? I believe it has to do withrepparttar 146002 fact that for many of us, doing things right, learning quickly, being a smart kid, was likely one ofrepparttar 146003 major sources of appreciation or approval we ever got. It may have beenrepparttar 146004 ONLY time we got noticed. In fact, for those of us who were quick studies,repparttar 146005 few times that we were not able to catch on with lightning speed caused us great discomfort, as if we were about to be robbed of our only source of approval, our one and only avenue of acceptance. As children, although we may have been praised when we did something right, we were probably ignored, admonished or even ridiculed when we weren't able to perform so flawlessly. As young children, this type of reaction provided us a mirror or reflection of who we were based solely on our performance. It defined our value. As adults, although we might realize intellectually that making a mistake is not a big deal, that it is a simply part of a learning process, we still have a tendency to respond from a deep emotional level that is no longer relevant. WOULD EVERYONE WHO IS NOT HERE PLEASE LEAVE? We need to tell these invisible critics to shut up, please leaverepparttar 146006 room, take a flying leap, or whatever else occurs to us atrepparttar 146007 moment. We've allowed them to hang around for far too long. Personally, I preferrepparttar 146008 more courteous approach, but since no one is REALLY around to get their feelings hurt, you may wish to just tell these ghosts to getrepparttar 146009 hell out! The crucial point is that you make your intention to banish these disembodied voices crystal clear to yourself. In

What Forgiveness Is Not

Written by Rosella Aranda

Is a grudge-laden heart sabotaging your success in business and in life? Much has been written overrepparttar ages aboutrepparttar 146000 value of forgiveness. And yet so many people continue to resistrepparttar 146001 idea of forgiving their transgressors. Why is this? I believe there are a couple of factors at play. First, although people might want to forgive, they donít wantrepparttar 146002 culprit to ďget off scot-free.Ē Letís examine this more closely. There are many misconceptions about forgiveness, so I would like to point out what forgiveness does NOT do. (We shall refer torepparttar 146003 transgressor as X.) ~ Forgiveness does NOT condonerepparttar 146004 actions of your perpetrator X. ~ By forgiving X, you are not saying that what X did was okay. Youíre just willing to quit stewing about it. Chances are, it wasnít okay, but thereís not much you can do to change history. It happened, itís over, get over it. Donít let it ruin your peace of mind a moment longer. ~ Forgiveness does NOT diminishrepparttar 146005 severity ofrepparttar 146006 transgression. ~ By forgiving X, you are not saying thatrepparttar 146007 harm he caused you was of no consequence. Indeed, you may still be dealing withrepparttar 146008 negative results of his actions. But by being willing to forgive X, you are allowing yourself to quit wasting precious energy on anger and put it to good use building yourself up instead. You survivedrepparttar 146009 transgression. Now itís time for you to thrive. ~ Forgiveness does NOT absolve X of his guilt. ~ Even if you were willing to, you could not clear Xís conscience for him. He will have to appeal to a higher celestial court for absolution. That is between X and his conscience; it is not your affair. So you see, forgiveness does not letrepparttar 146010 other guy offrepparttar 146011 hook. It lets YOU offrepparttar 146012 hook. By refusing to forgiverepparttar 146013 other person, you are condemning yourself to being stuck. And this ďbeing stuckĒ tends to infiltrate and poison every area of oneís life. Itís a bit like trying to drive your car withrepparttar 146014 brakes on. Consider forgiveness as a gift you give to yourself. Now letís look at another nearly opposite reaction. Some people are quick to claim blanket forgiveness for everyone and everything, without even knowing what it is they are pardoning. This is a fine gesture, but it is hardly effective. Why? Because you cannot forgive a transgression which has never been acknowledged. You canít just leapfrog over allrepparttar 146015 buried pain and expect relief. You must first acknowledgerepparttar 146016 harm that was done.

The acknowledgement consists of: - Admittingrepparttar 146017 harmful nature of what was done to you.

- Feelingrepparttar 146018 pain that youíve struggled unconsciously for years to keep down. - Expressingrepparttar 146019 anger that accompanies these realizations (by writing, exercising, beating a pillow, wailing, thrashing about, etc.)

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