You Don't Have to Break Down, When You Break Up!

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Very few people would argue withrepparttar fact that creating successful relationships is often one ofrepparttar 147535 biggest challenges we face as human beings. The strange thing is that life can become even more challenging when they end. But is it really necessary to break down when you break up?

Below are three simple ideas that will help guide you to re-build your life on your own.

1. Become firmly grounded inrepparttar 147536 present moment.

If you find yourself onrepparttar 147537 other side of a relationship, it is important that you have a deep awareness of what you are feeling inrepparttar 147538 present moment. Continually check in with yourself. Notice what is going on with you if you are experiencing emotional upset. Your body is always inrepparttar 147539 present, but where is your mind?

It may be very tempting for you to delve into your past replaying events over and over again in your head. The reality is, you can't change your past, so trying to do so is futile. Just accept everything as it is. Find peace aroundrepparttar 147540 thought that both of you were operating torepparttar 147541 best of your ability, givenrepparttar 147542 circumstances, at any moment in time. Equally futile is casting your mind intorepparttar 147543 future, wondering what life could have, would have, should have been like had you stayed with your partner. The truth is that your future is going to look somewhat different to what you may have previously anticipated. Do your best to accept it.

If you manage to stay inrepparttar 147544 present moment, most ofrepparttar 147545 pain you will experience will be growing pains. You are transforming from one state of being to another. It's not going to be easy. Whether your new state of being is a good one largely comes down torepparttar 147546 choices you make. If you take responsibility for where you are right now you will slowly begin to see you life unfold as it should.

2. Breaking up with someone is a creative as well as a destructive process.

Yes, I'm concerned but what can I do about it?

Written by Steve Wright

Yes, I'm concerned but what can I do about it? *Covey's 1st Habit - Be Proactive (part 2)

The second main component ofrepparttar first habit is around what Covey callsrepparttar 147534 "circle of influence". While this is quite a basic concept, it probably will haverepparttar 147535 biggest influence on your behaviour as it did mine.

The problem I have so early in my "Strive for leadership" is deciding where I turn first, there seems so much I need to learn and so many tools or habits I need to focus on that I simply have notrepparttar 147536 time to do them all. How similar is this to when you want to lead? You want to start to make a real difference and feel as a leader you have some sort of obligation to do so. This habit will help direct you.

Circle of Influence (COI): The concept is that everyone has a limit to their influence. Things over which we have no influence, are outside this circle. It's about recognizing that there are things over which we have no influence. Sounds easy! What's for breakfast, what book to read? How about Global warming, or local tax rates?

Circle of Concern (COC): Covey also talks about a "circle of concern". This circle includes all things that we are significantly concerned about. This tends to be easier. However it does require us to grade these concerns. There is an underlying assumption that you can only be concerned about a limited number of things. For some of us this is hard. The point is really 'most' concerned. I find this worked fo me at different levels - at work, at home and personally. I still found though I could only have three general issues at each of these levels and had to accept that there were some things that I was not as concerned about as I felt I should be. This is about passion, and while it's a whole other topic I had to question what concerns I was most passionate about. This certainly helped me in this process.

The lesson is inrepparttar 147537 balance and where we spend our time and effort.

My experience is that both my COI and COC are smaller than I initially thought and thatrepparttar 147538 assessment of both is interrelated.

I became distracted by issues that I had some, but not a lot, of influence over. My level of concern becamerepparttar 147539 driver to trying to justify some influence. What I was confusing wasrepparttar 147540 actual and goal.

The main question is, why spend time and effort on things outside our circle of influence, even if they are within our circle of concern? It would simply be a waste of effort. Now this scenario is not necessarily unhealthy. There are many things that concern me that are way beyond my influence. I guess what I need to do is accept how much I can impact them, and if I am sufficiently concerned, work toward expanding my circle of influence so I can make a difference. That's a goal and whererepparttar 147541 real lesson in this is. We decide for ourselves what concerns us but often we feel our circle of influence is dictated for us. This is simply not true.

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