You Can Only Be A True Georgian If...

Written by Ed Williams

You know how to getrepparttar juice out of a honeysuckle.

You get excited each and every timerepparttar 105579 Falcons makerepparttar 105580 playoffs, and you never get excited whenrepparttar 105581 Braves dorepparttar 105582 exact same thing.

You cussrepparttar 105583 drive up to Atlanta, but you enjoy yourself after you get there.

You realize that people have different speaking accents inrepparttar 105584 West, Northwest, Northeast, and Middle America, and that all of them are weird compared torepparttar 105585 right one, ours.

A tear comes to your eye every time you hear Ray Charles singing, “Georgia On My Mind,“ or when you hear Elvis singing “An American Trilogy” duringrepparttar 105586 Stone Mountain Park Laser Show.

You hate eitherrepparttar 105587 Yellow Jackets or Bulldogs part ofrepparttar 105588 time, but haterepparttar 105589 Notre Dame Fighting Irish,repparttar 105590 Penn State Nittany Lions,repparttar 105591 Ohio State Buckeyes,repparttar 105592 Michigan Wolverines, and any other large northern football playing university all ofrepparttar 105593 time.

You think that one of those t-shirts dyed with red mud is truly a time saving idea.

You often wonder why anyone would be crazy enough to live someplace else, especially anywhere north ofrepparttar 105594 Mason-Dixon Line.

You still hold a car door open for a lady, and you still pay for her dinner when you take her out, no matter how little of her entree she actually ends up eating.

You know exactly what a brim is.

You understand that Dave Barry is a good writer, but that Lewis Grizzard was a great writer.

You remember what drink boxes and hoop cheese were.

You smile and act like you really do want to go up to Six Flags and ride all those roller coasters...

You’re convinced that Super Bowl Sunday ought to be a national holiday.

You smile anytime you hearrepparttar 105595 words Tybee, St. Simons, or Jekyll. And let’s not even mention Sea Island...

You appreciate our state DOT department just as soon as you drive from Georgia into either Alabama, Florida, or South Carolina.

You understand why it’s fun to step on a maypop.

You knowrepparttar 105596 difference between boiled peanuts made from green peanuts and boiled peanuts made from just plain peanuts.

‘I'm Not A Christian, But I Play One On Sunday'

Written by Rev. James L. Snyder

After more than three decades of church ministry, I have come to one unsettling conclusion. Actually, I've come to more than one conclusion, but this one isrepparttar most depressing.

That conclusion is simply this: all who say they are going to Heaven are not actually onrepparttar 105578 right path, going inrepparttar 105579 right direction. Most, of course, haverepparttar 105580 best intentions, but good intentions don't make up for going inrepparttar 105581 wrong direction.

Our government insists advertisers adhere to what they call "truth in advertising." I would like to insist on something I call "truth in testimony." By that, I mean what people say about themselves should berepparttar 105582 truth. If this could ever be enacted by Congress, some people will have to say, "I'm not a Christian, but I play one on Sunday."

I've always thought of it this way, if you're not a Christian on Saturday night, you're not a Christian on Sunday morning, which may berepparttar 105583 ultimate test. Christianity is not a time-sensitive lifestyle turned on Sunday morning and expiring by nightfall.

Christianity is not like St. Patrick's Day, where for that one day everyone is Irish. Also, Christianity is not like a part-time job you take to make ends meet.

For example, take a guy who was in my office one day last month. I never saw him before and didn't know him from Adam. He saw our church, he said, as he was driving by and thought he would stop in and visit. "You have a real nice church here, reverend," he praised.

As soon as I saw him, I knew what he was after. His job was to see how much of my money andrepparttar 105584 church's money he could put into his pocket. My job, of course, was to make his job impossible.

I've played this game before and, not bragging, I've become rather good at it. Not that I have not lost my share of games, for I have. But after losing hundreds of dollars to scoundrels, I've learned how to playrepparttar 105585 game.

The key to winning is never letting your guard down, and more importantly, never allow your opponent to suck you into his sympathy scam. One man actually brought with him a little girl he pawned off as his daughter.

Looking into her big brown eyes my hand automatically went to my wallet. I'm sorry to say I lost that one and later found outrepparttar 105586 little girl was not his daughter.

This man in my office, let's call him "Ralph," had a different scheme. He was trying to impress me with how good a Christian he really was. Although he may not have been a good Christian, he sure knew how to tell a good line. All along, he was trying to impress me that he really knew God.

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