I know at some point you had big dreams. You felt and believed that you were going to change world in some significant way. Make things better, safer for our kids. Something.

You knew deep down that you had a special gift that no one else has.

You know what, come a little closer I want to make sure you hear this-

-You did have a special gift. And... you still do! The gift that you were so sure you had didn’t leave you, you left it.

Oh, I know drill. Your goals and dreams have taken a back seat to trying to scratch out a living. They’ve become buried in daily struggles and frustrations of life. So much so that now you don’t even think much about achieving your goals and living your dreams. It’s all you can do to get to end of week. Life has become nothing more than a struggle for survival to next crisis.

A few months ago I made a statement in a small group of co-workers concerning fact that somewhere along way, as a mechanism (as in "clear the... " (from movie 'For Love of Game', see it if you haven't. It's awesome...)) for getting through tough situations, I developed belief that I always win. ALWAYS! Until I said it and it was "out there" I hadn't ever really thought about it in terms of being a belief that I had. I feel though that having this belief has smoothed me out. I don't suffer drastic fluctuations in way I feel based on how things are going for me. Basically I always feel pretty up in game. It's because of this goofy voice in back of my mind that constantly reminds me that no matter how bad things may look right now "you know you're gonna win, why even get bothered about it". I just believe I'm always going to win. What I'm saying here is that no matter what situation I believe that if I keep my head, and dig into it more I will be shown a way to see myself as better off for new experience that I've just encountered. No matter how rough experience may appear to observers on outside, you'd better understand and believe on inside Clyde's winnin' baby.

A little education here, bare with me...

Back when I was playing in lots of racquetball tournaments, and losing more than I was winning, it was rough mentally. There were times at end of certain matches when I had just got beaten so badly that I really seriously considered trying to dig a hole into that hardwood floor and covering myself up. This rather than go out of that stinkin little door and face what was on outside of court. Racquetball is not a huge spectator sport but there were some tournaments in California and Texas, two states where sport enjoys it's largest participation, when somewhere around 500 to 600 people would turn out to see action. Now that doesn't sound like a lot of people when you consider how many people show up for some other sporting events, but in racquetball fans are a lot closer to you when you exit field of play than they are in most other sports. So close in fact that you can feel their stares and hear their comments about your performance, and we all know everyone has an opinion. They get to look into your eyes, and you into theirs. That's close, and not always comfortable. It's one of now small things that I had to learn to deal with.