You Can't Have An Intelligent Conversation With EveryoneWritten by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD
Intelligent conversation is one of life's pleasures. I love nothing better than to engage in conversation with someone who has ideas to share, different perspectives, and is interesting. An intelligent conversation is food for brain. All too sadly, not everyone can carry on an intelligent conversation. This has less to do with their intelligence quotient (IQ) than with their emotional quotient (EQ). Only a self-aware, self-confident person with excellent social skills has ability to engage in intelligent conversation.
Intelligent conversation happens when people come together with a win/win attitude, don't try to change anyone's opinion, and are open to new ideas. Intelligent conversation is bridge to greater understanding. People engage in intelligent conversation for no other reason but to explore, discover, and learn. There is no other agenda.
People who struggle with, or cannot hold, an intelligent conversation come with an agenda. They want to thrust their ideas onto others, get their point across, and will resort to personal attacks if necessary. They come with a win/lose mentality and are not interested in learning and discovering. His or her idea is only one that matters, and anyone who doesn't agree is a threat. Intelligent conversation with these types of people is impossible and dangerous.
A Live ItWritten by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD
Real change happens only when it becomes part of our everyday life. When a change becomes a habit, it isn't something new we are trying, but becomes part of what we do as our routine. I was reading a Wynona Judd interview and they asked her about her diet. She replied that she wasn't on a diet; she was on "A Live It." I thought this was great because risk of a diet or any change is that we won't stick to it. We won’t live it. We will simply do it until we get results we want, or get discouraged, and revert to our old habits. A live it is not something that we are going to do for a short while, but something we will do for a lifetime.
Permanent change comes only when we integrate change into our lives and form a new habit. Everything we do is habit. From getting up in morning and brushing our teeth, to side of bed we tuck ourselves into at end of day. Habits might seem like actions that are hard to add to your life. But, there was a time when taking a bath was not a habit, and as children we might have even tried to get out of taking baths. Other daily habits that we have such as brushing our teeth or eating certain foods all are habits we formed at one time or another. Habits become habits because of repetition. If you do something enough times it will become a habit.