In context of discussion here 'box' is sub-conscious mind. More specifically box is limitation imposed by sub-conscious mind.

Sub-conscious mind is repository of all life's experiences, memories, feelings. We have experienced joy of being appreciated, disappointment of what we consider as a failure, sorrow of losing a chance and myriad other feelings. The feelings and experience of all events in our lives are deposited in our sub-conscious mind.

We may not be able to recall any particular event that occurred in our childhood, but they are all there. All that comes to notice of our conscious mind thru our senses are faithfully passed on to sub-conscious mind where they are permanently stored.

Very early in our lives collection of past events, experience and feelings in our sub-conscious mind becomes so weighty that sub-conscious mind develops control over us influencing our day-to-day affairs, way we assess ourselves, way we behave, way we think, in fact our very being.

Sub-consciously we form opinion about ourselves, we "decide" who we are and how much we "deserve". In a way we take it for granted that we cannot go beyond what we think we are. This creates inhibition, hesitation, a limiting boundary and box.

Our sub-conscious zone is really a comfort zone for us where we tend to go again and again. We take comfort in re-living our past, in re-living our experience even if memories of past are not always pleasant. Everything that happens around us in our present lives tends to reinforce our sub-conscious belief because this is how we interpret present events.

Human potential is really not limited to our self-imposed restrictions. We have power to go beyond limitation defined by box. Yet box constitutes comfort zone we are reluctant to leave. The sub-conscious mind conspires with surroundings to maintain us at present level of being, and we contribute to this effort.

Then something awful happened to me....

I had to take a job dealing with public. My worst fears came true and I had to make small talk with a whole range of people each and every day.

I found it difficult, tedious and nerve wracking.

Eventually after a lot of trial and error I got hang of it. And today I find it easy to do and even enjoyable.

You can do same when you learn a few key distinctions:

1. Understand that purpose of small talk is not to exchange information.

It is a game you play to find things you have in common with other person.

Decide to be intensely curious about other person and go fishing for what you have in common. When you are genuinely interested in other people they will respond positively to your questions and to way you listen to what they have to say.

When you take pressure off yourself to be a great conversationalist and become a detective searching for commonality conversation tends to take care of itself.

Why?

Because people like people that are like them.