WORD COUNT: 577

While many disparage advent of glitches in our wired world, only way to find solace and sanity is to return to ancient teachings.

"Haiku", (a Japanese style of poetry), offers readers a way to experience daily dilemmas of our digital community from a novel perspective.

So, for those of you who have no intention of going back in time or, unearthing gold-leaf tomes in your basement, just tune in to Happy Haiku Harridan for your daily dose of wonky wisdom.

Below are a few little gems by anonymous authors. I’ve also added a few of my own for good measure.

1. The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.

2. Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

3. Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.

4. Windows NT crashed. I am Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.

5. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.

6. Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

7. Stay patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.

8. A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.

9. Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred?

10. You step in stream, but water has moved on. This page is not here.

11. Out of memory. We wish to hold whole sky, but we never will.

12. Having been erased, document you're seeking must now be retyped.

WORD COUNT: 566

It's amazing what "Perfectly Normal Beasts" will do in a pinch. Being a "Beast" is one thing, but being a "Perfectly Normal Beast" is quite another.

And being a Perfectly Normal Beast in a pinch, well that's a fate worse than death (especially if hunter-matadors are involved).

Now, if you're least bit curious about "Life, Universe and Everything" (including a blessed Bob-fearing planet that shall remain nameless), then you probably know all about Perfectly Normal Beasts.

But, if you've never hazarded a guess about Life, Universe and Everything and are slightly overwhelmed by such an XL-thought, fear not.

If lost ...then follow these simple instructions:

The following list will help you to navigate very first stage of this protracted process called, "Discovering Life, Universe and Everything".

Take a deep breath, think nice thoughts, and follow these instructions (remember -- no ands, ifs, or buts).

Ahem! May I have your attention please!! LISTEN UP TWATS!!! Enough with tah tah, tally ho, pip pip and all that ... just work with me people and:

(a) show up at any airport,

(b) bring along your passport and a small bag (that you've packed yourself naturally) and,

(c) obtain a boarding pass for next "Flight of Fancy" (departing whenever enough folks like you show up to take it for goodness sake).

Meanwhile back at ranch...

Getting back to Perfectly Normal Beasts -- (PNBs for short) -- and perfectly normal things that they do.

Well for starters, you'll know when you've run into them if they: