YOUR HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES FOR THE DAY

Written by Victoria Elizabeth


PUBLISHING GUIDELINES. This article may be used in print or electronic publications. Publishers are requested to emailrepparttar author (quippingqueen@yahoo.com) with a copy ofrepparttar 118177 article reprinted in their publication, or a link back torepparttar 118178 author's blog at (www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com).

WORD COUNT: 577

While many disparagerepparttar 118179 advent of glitches in our wired world,repparttar 118180 only way to find solace and sanity is to return torepparttar 118181 ancient teachings.

"Haiku", (a Japanese style of poetry), offers readers a way to experiencerepparttar 118182 daily dilemmas of our digital community from a novel perspective.

So, for those of you who have no intention of going back in time or, unearthingrepparttar 118183 gold-leaf tomes in your basement, just tune in torepparttar 118184 Happy Haiku Harridan for your daily dose of wonky wisdom.

Below are a few little gems by anonymous authors. Iíve also added a few of my own for good measure.

1. The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.

2. Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

3. Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.

4. Windows NT crashed. I amrepparttar 118185 Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.

5. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.

6. Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

7. Stayrepparttar 118186 patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.

8. A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.

9. Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred?

10. You step inrepparttar 118187 stream, butrepparttar 118188 water has moved on. This page is not here.

11. Out of memory. We wish to holdrepparttar 118189 whole sky, but we never will.

12. Having been erased,repparttar 118190 document you're seeking must now be retyped.

13. Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared.

THINGS PERFECTLY NORMAL BEASTS DO

Written by Victoria Elizabeth


PUBLISHING GUIDELINES: Publishers wishing to use this article are invited to emailrepparttar author a courtesy copy of their publication, for citation purposes.

WORD COUNT: 566

It's amazing what "Perfectly Normal Beasts" will do in a pinch. Being a "Beast" is one thing, but being a "Perfectly Normal Beast" is quite another.

And being a Perfectly Normal Beast in a pinch, well that's a fate worse than death (especially if hunter-matadors are involved).

Now, if you'rerepparttar 118176 least bit curious about "Life,repparttar 118177 Universe and Everything" (including a blessed Bob-fearing planet that shall remain nameless), then you probably know all about Perfectly Normal Beasts.

But, if you've never hazarded a guess about Life,repparttar 118178 Universe and Everything and are slightly overwhelmed by such an XL-thought, fear not.

If lost ...then follow these simple instructions:

The following list will help you to navigaterepparttar 118179 very first stage of this protracted process called, "Discovering Life,repparttar 118180 Universe and Everything".

Take a deep breath, think nice thoughts, and follow these instructions (remember -- no ands, ifs, or buts).

Ahem! May I have your attention please!! LISTEN UP TWATS!!! Enough withrepparttar 118181 tah tah, tally ho, pip pip and all that ... just work with me people and:

(a) show up at any airport,

(b) bring along your passport and a small bag (that you've packed yourself naturally) and,

(c) obtain a boarding pass forrepparttar 118182 next "Flight of Fancy" (departing whenever enough folks like you show up to take it for goodness sake).

Meanwhile back atrepparttar 118183 ranch...

Getting back to Perfectly Normal Beasts -- (PNBs for short) -- andrepparttar 118184 perfectly normal things that they do.

Well for starters, you'll know when you've run into them if they:

(1) appear to be huge, hot and heaving hoofers (that you've never set eyes upon in a petting zoo or better yet, never even accosted in a dank, dark, and dreary alleyway -- thank your lucky stars and get your buns outta there!)

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
 
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