YOUR DRUM (Poem)

Written by OSORO P. J. NYAWANGAH


(Waste no time gossiping it doesnít pay!) Many people are always poking their noses in other peopleís affairs for nothing.

Play your own drum, No one else, Can play it for you, Itís your drum, And your chose it your self. No one else should, Only you, Knowrepparttar tunes, Let people Enjoyrepparttar 118295 tunes By playing it yourself Haverepparttar 118296 hands for it Take courage Play your own drum

Wake early inrepparttar 118297 morning Prepare yourself In morning sun Put your drum Haverepparttar 118298 stick ready Forrepparttar 118299 best tunes. Play your own drum No one else Can play it for you Itís your own drum Prepare it yourself For you alone Knowrepparttar 118300 tune ofrepparttar 118301 drum

Donít be worried How well others play You also Can play better Often we are so busy Listening, watching Others play their drums That we donít Play our own Practice always Make perfect Haverepparttar 118302 hand for it Play your own drum

6 Dating Tips from Ughh the Caveman

Written by Richard Stooker


While recently browsing throughrepparttar Akashic Records ofrepparttar 118294 Universe, I discovered thatrepparttar 118295 greatest relationship advice counselor to have ever incarnated on Earth was Ughh, a caveman born in 123,566 B.C.

My local Rent-A-Psychic outlet provided a channeler and now thanks to her unique talent, I am bringing you Ughh's eternal dating wisdom and answers to your dating and relationship questions.

1. Question:

I've been dating my current girlfriend for 23 years. She's 45 and I'm 48. She tells me she needs her own space and has taken time off and on to find herself. Lately I've realized I'd like to get married and have children but she is still telling me she is not yet ready for committment and needs to get her head together before settling down.

What should I do?

Answer:

When a woman takes meat from you, spreads her legs but returns torepparttar 118296 skins of her mother and father, she is telling you that eitherrepparttar 118297 meat you fed her orrepparttar 118298 meat between your legs did not fill her up. Let another hunter feed her cubs.

Find a girl who is a good cook and has a fast hand for catching grasshoppers. Feedrepparttar 118299 hot heart of an antelope to her mother and father andrepparttar 118300 liver to her. Then, if she tries to crawl back underrepparttar 118301 bearskin of her mother and father, they will kick her until she returns to you.

After you have fed her five antelope livers orrepparttar 118302 winds ofrepparttar 118303 Gods have planted a cub in her womb, she will remain yours untilrepparttar 118304 walls of ice torepparttar 118305 north melt.

2. Question

I am 35 years old and have not had a second date since college. The women tell me I'm too nice of a guy for them and they just want to be friends.

What should I do?

Answer:

You must be a lazy hunter. Whenrepparttar 118306 women see you sleeping inrepparttar 118307 sun every day living on grass instead of bringing back strings of rabbits and squirrels, they curse your manhood and rightly so.

If you want a woman you must prove you can feed her and her cubs.

If your cave has no available females, capture one from another tribe.

If your heart is too small and your bowels too loose for that, resign yourself to sleeping cold until you die.

3. Question

I'm a girl who loves to go to raves. I used to go home only with guys, but lately I've been bi-curious with other girls and I'm getting confused. Am I a lesbian or is it justrepparttar 118308 Ecstasy?

Answer:

Life is short. Many women die young in childbirth. Many men die young in hunting accidents or war parties. Everybody can die young from starvation, winter cold and disease.

When a woman's husband is gored by a wild pig and she has three cubs andrepparttar 118309 other hunters inrepparttar 118310 cave already have as many wives and cubs as they can feed, it can be good for that woman to share her skins with a hunting woman or he-girl.

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