And now you may find yourself behaving in same bratty way toward others. How could this happen? Much to our chagrin, it's quite common to have some of same negative traits as our parents, despite our best intentions to avoid them.

Some people attribute these similarities to their heritage: "I'm Italian," they'll say, or "I've inherited my father's German stubborn streak." Others claim that all these behaviors are just learned -- if you hang out with screamers, you're going to be loud yourself. If your family doesn’t hug one another, you’re not going to be very affectionate either.

It’s true that environment does shape our personalities to some extent. Culture and family life certainly affect how we behave. Kids imitate what they see and respond to what they’re rewarded for. For example, parents who value education and praise good grades typically have children who are better students, regardless of IQ levels.

But environment doesn’t explain everything. Despite parents’ efforts to raise responsible, conscientious citizens, some children will not turn out that way. Similarly, it is not unusual to see well-adjusted individuals who come from a highly dysfunctional family.

Research on twins has shed light on role of environment vs heredity in determining personality. Each set of twins raised together drink same water, eat same foods and watch same TV shows. They go to same schools, know same peers and experience same discipline style from their parents. In other words, all twins (who are raised together) share same environment.

If environment is key to personality then we would expect identical twins to be no more similar to one another than fraternal twins. But that’s not case. Research has shown that identical twins (who have exactly same genes) are more similar to one another on many personality dimensions than are fraternal twins (who share only 50% of same genes.)

In a nutshell they’re domineering, intimidating, impatient with people and details, thrive on responsibility, driven, irascible, know (not “think”) they’re right, often left-brained, and difficult.

Is there an "alpha female"? Studies have shown that females are not as innately** threatening as males. Also, across-the-board, males test lower in empathy and social responsibility - two traits that contribute to this personality style. So, not really!

**Tests for innateness mean it's evident with newborns, and in every culture, therefore not something "learned".

How do you cope with one? Here are some suggestions.

1. Take a stand.

You won't get to hold it, but if you don't, you'll become irrelevant.

2. Learn their language.

This is helpful with anyone, learning how they speak, and essential with alpha male. Listen to alpha and parrot back, using his terminology. For instance, if you get an email saying, “You were wrong,” you can reply, “How do I do this right?”

3. Maintain your dignity and self-respect.

It may well be under assault, and it’s up to you. The alpha male isn’t looking out for you, your feelings, or sentiments, or often even your opinion. If you show he’s “getting to you,” you’ll likely get more of it. (To them it's a show of "weakness".) Learn to manage your nonverbal communication - facial expressions, position of hands, posture, etc.

4. Come in equipped with Emotional Intelligence.