A while back, an Internet wit compiled a list of signs that you're not spending enough time online. One sure sign is that poor spelling and grammar still bother you. Good one!
Unfortunately, there are no online grammar police … just you and me, voluntarily dotting our own "i"s and crossing our own "t"s. And since you want to go forth and prosper as an Internet business, you're taking time to do it, right?
After all, as author Virginia Shea pointed out in her online book Netiquette, "On Web, you won't be judged by color of your skin, eyes or hair, your weight, your age, or your clothing. You will, however, be judged by quality of your writing."
Okay, maybe these days, people aren't as picky as they once were about speaking and writing perfectly. Whether that's okay or not, is up for debate. But if you lose coherency as a result… well, that's going to cost you money and that's not negotiable, is it?
But, for those of you with too many clients and too much money, here are a few guidelines on writing for mediocrity:
1. Do not under any circumstances use spell check function or have someone else proofread your text before uploading it. That wood be a horendus waist of time and serbs no porpoise.
2. If you don't have valuable content, don't worry… just substitute fancy fonts, busy wallpaper and lots of blinking banners. Your visitors will be so distracted they won't notice you have nothing to say.
3. If you quote someone, don't bother to get their permission or spell their name correctly. Why? See rule #1.
4. Exclamation marks rule!!! Your readers have likely never seen this tactic before and so will think that urgent punctuation (!!!) requires urgent action (!!!) on their part.