IF YOU ARE A WORKING PARENT, PARTICULARLY A WORKING MOM, IT'S LIKELY YOU ARE AMONG THE 95% WHO FEEL GUILTY WHEN THEY LEAVE THEIR KIDS AND GO TO WORK. Many moms leave their day care in tears and then spend rest of day aching to be with their child. Few people can afford to quit their jobs so they go on, day after day, living this vicious cycle of guilt. The truth is that until you acknowledge true antagonist, you cannot change it!

SO WHERE DID THIS GUILT COME FROM ANYWAY? Since monsters hide in dark, let's shine a light on this one so it will go away. Most likely, you were working before you had children and fully intended to work after you had children. No surprise there! The surprise came when that first day arrived to drop your baby off at day care. It was almost impossible to leave, wasn't it? As you got used to idea of saying good-bye to your child for day, that nagging guilt manifested in many other ways - you know, temptation to not discipline in evening so you could have "quality time"; keeping her up too late because you have not been with her all day. Not to mention that underlying fear that your child will become more attached to, and have a stronger relationship with your day care provider than she has with you.

BEING A WORKING PARENT IS PART OF TODAY'S WORLD. Most families cannot maintain lifestyle they have worked so hard to create without two incomes. The conflict arises for women when traditional model of stay-at-home-mom starts rumbling like a small earthquake in her heart. The necessity and expectation to have women be a breadwinner AND mom is still fairly new. There are a lot of hats to wear, and taking one off before putting another on is often impossible. The hat for a demanding job seems to never come off, even for some essential, 100%, mom-time.

I was finally rescued from these ‘diagnoses' of hypochondria by a perceptive doctor who identified my problem as Candida Albicans, a systemic yeast infection — a common but often elusive ailment that frequently escapes doctors' attention.

Since being diagnosed and following some simple remedies, I have my life back and now feel better than ever. If you have mystery ailments and aren’t getting satisfaction from your medical providers, you might want to hear my story:

In summer of 1997 I found a lump in my neck. It didn't hurt, didn't bother me at all, so I ignored it. Then one lump became two, and two became three. I was still ignoring them since they weren't painful. I had to go to my primary-care physician (an Internist) to renew my Prozac prescription (I've been depressed as long as I can remember, and on Prozac for 2 1/2 years) so I mentioned lumps...

Since then I have seen nine (yes, nine!) different doctors, specialists, and physicians assistants. I’ve had more blood tests than I can count (I swear doctor's have more of my blood than I do!). I had ultrasounds of my neck. I saw two endocrinologists, two surgeons, a hematologist, and none of them could even agree! Through all this I still felt NORMAL (which for me includes being tired, depressed, irritable, and having frequent headaches.).

On January 15, 1998, I had original lump (a swollen lymph node) removed. The lab work showed it WASN'T Cancer, Cat Scratch Fever, Aids, or Psittacosis (parrot fever). But, they still didn't know what it WAS.

I was left with a two-inch scar, painful 'pins and needles' across my jawbone and down front of my neck, and NO answers. Then I started to feel miserable. I had pain from surgery and started sleeping 14 to 16 hours a day. I couldn't stay awake! The times I was awake I had no energy or ambition to do anything. I wasn't functioning like a person and certainly not like a mother to my five year old son.

More blood tests, more doctors...When I went back to surgeon for a follow-up and complained about painful pins and needles in my neck and jaw, he told me that it couldn't be from his surgery and that I must have developed arthritis.

Funny, I'm 35 years old, never had arthritis before, and I was under impression that arthritis is in joints and bones, NOT skin-- but now I had arthritis.

More sleeping. I couldn't work anymore. More blood tests, more antibiotics, more of my husband doing housework, cooking meals, and taking care of me. But still no answers.