As references to aproach this area I bring work of Carl Rogers and Harald Swedner. They made a giant effort scaling down their discoveries to its essenscial and cognitive structures, "decoded" to let us access cumulative effects and synergies in networking with experience being present in an designed dynamic and close encounter of a motivated group.

The interactive and reflective components in these designed meetings, force real needs to co-function instead of hidden motives and false expectations that will limit perception. Dealing with missions more or less with "brains off" (to let EQ join common sense) may boost process to spin-off. That is a good reason for developing network strategies.

This level is required to recognize and identify best mix of options for any given occation. To optimize alternatives and secure constructive attitudes, we go crossover culture, borders and branches. Your treasures need a Network!

A reflection over dynamic groups

“For ourselves,” group muttered.

“You’re only third group I’ve spoken to who’s known that,” speaker replied.

FORGIVE FOR YOURSELF

Most of us do realize these days that we forgive for ourselves. The perpetrator of act requiring forgiveness has done what they’ve done, which largely can’t be undone, and probably are getting on with their life. If we continue to harbor rancor and resentment, we make ourselves doubly victim. Whether or not we forgive other person makes difference mostly to us, not them. If we do forgive, we can then, like them, get on with our lives.

Forgiveness, then, can be unilateral. While sometimes we will do this with another person, listening to their explanation and/or accepting their apology, and saying words, “I forgive you,” we can also do this without other. We can do this on paper, journaling or writing person a letter we never send, in a therapist’s office, confiding in a trusted friend, in our own minds, or in prayer or meditation.

TRUST IS BILATERAL

Trust, however, is another thing.

Whether act requiring forgiveness is a lie, 10 years of drinking, or an extramarital affair, if relationship with other person is to continue, forgiveness is just beginning. Regained trust is goal, and another beginning.

When you seek to forgive a person who’s harmed you and to continue in relationship, you need to work on trust aspects. Understand that this, unlike forgiveness, is not a “given.” You can grant forgiveness. The other must earn back trust, and you have a right to expect this be done.

Haven’t you heard someone who’s had an affair saying, “It’s like she doesn’t trust me. I told her it was over. I don’t understand why she’s so suspicious.” And then they go on to name acts of offended spouse they consider “paranoid,” such as monitoring cell phone bills, checking on time away from home, and watching closely at social functions.