Words To Live By For The Recovering Rageaholic

Written by Newton Hightower, LMSW-ACP


Publishing Guidelines: Feel free to publishrepparttar following article in its entirety in your ezine, website, or print newsletter. The resource box must be included with an active link. Please send a copy ofrepparttar 131007 publication in which repparttar 131008 article appears to: newton@angerbusters.com Word wrap to 60, (653 words)

Words To Live By For The Recovering Rageaholic By Newton Hightower, LMSW-ACP

A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted torepparttar 131009 expression of anger. While many people feel better when they "let it all out" a rageaholic should totally and completely abstain from expressing their anger.

If anger or rage is a problem for you or someone you love, repparttar 131010 following creed will help get things moving in a more positive direction. Read this list each morning before beginning your day:

1. I will practice self-restraint as a *top* priority today. (Notice that it does not say, "I will practice standing up for what is right.")

2. I will act *the opposite* of how I feel, when angry. (Notice that it does not say, "I will share how I really feel.")

3. If I feel that my anger is about to erupt, I will *quietly* leaverepparttar 131011 situation. (Notice that it does not say, "I will stay around and process my feeling.")

4. I will find truth in *all* criticisms directed toward me today, especially from my partner. (Notice that it does not say, "I will explain my point of view.")

5. I will say, "You are right," in a sincere, meaningful way, when I am criticized. (Notice that it does not say, "I will say, 'You are right, but...'")

6. I will give an example of howrepparttar 131012 person who criticized me is *right*. (Notice that it does not say, "I will point out an exception to their observation.")

7. I will repeatrepparttar 131013 following sentence to myself today: "I am better off being *wrong* because when I am right, I am dangerous." (Notice that it does not say, "I need to stand up for myself when I am right." That is inrepparttar 131014 self-help literature for depressed women. Rageful men are not depressed women.)

Emotional Intelligence and the Gentle Art of Conversation

Written by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach


Having just returned from a cruise, where I was seated nightly with a table of 10 strangers, I was reminded ofrepparttar many definitions of ^emotional intelligence.^

When I ask laypeople what EQ means, they respond “common sense,” or “manners,” or “knowing how to get along.” These are good definitions. And nowhere is this more evident than inrepparttar 131005 gentle art of dinner-table conversation.

WHAT ARE THE RULES?

They used to be -- nothing controversial. This included religion, sex, money and politics. How far we have strayed from this. It was also inferred that nothing unpleasant should be discussed: problems withrepparttar 131006 in-laws, unemployment, incest … need I go on?

WHAT DOES THIS LEAVE?

Let’s use this quote from Samuel Johnson, a writer back inrepparttar 131007 times when men of letters spoke on matters of decorum:

“That isrepparttar 131008 happiest conversation where there is no competition, no vanity, but a calm, quiet interchange of sentiments.”

Dinner-table conversation is not a time to complain, rage, or stress others. It’s a time to keep those things to yourself, and find pleasant things to talk about in a pleasant tone of voice. Yes, it takes discipline. It requires Intentionality, a high-level EQ competency. The intent is to talk about something informative, pleasant and enlightening. In other words, be ^good company^. Can you do that? If not, why not? Think about it.

On a cruise, you would think there would be plenty of pleasant things to talk about, wouldn’t you? Rather, it’s an example that you take your happiness with you. I speak on cruises and have had ample time to sample this theory. Some people spendrepparttar 131009 whole cruise complaining.

YES/NO

Here are some positive and negative examples that occurred at my dining table on this last cruise. Names have been changed to protectrepparttar 131010 guilty.

*Madame Winifred, a self-appointed ambassador forrepparttar 131011 cruise line due torepparttar 131012 money she had spent cruising. Overdressed and arrogant, she spentrepparttar 131013 entire time monopolizingrepparttar 131014 conversation with vanity comments and being judgmental about staff. We had to simply talk over her, or ignore her and break into one-on-one conversations for relief, as there were no breaks in her monologues. *Sally entertained us with tales about teaching preschool and her trip acrossrepparttar 131015 US by Amtrak. Also her childhood growing up asrepparttar 131016 daughter of an ambassador. Could’ve bragged, but didn’t. She spoke a few sentences, and then tippedrepparttar 131017 conversation someone else’s way - i.e., “…and so we moved every 2-3 years … what about you, Susan?” *Nurse Teresa informed us jovially about her day in Calica dwelling onrepparttar 131018 negatives with humor. It was her first cruise. She askedrepparttar 131019 rest of us seasoned cruisers questions which made us all feel important. This is always a plus in a conversation. A talented conversationalist doesn’t monopolizerepparttar 131020 conversation.

*Doctor Bob probably scored high onrepparttar 131021 ^able to love and be loved^ category onrepparttar 131022 VIA strengths profile (www.authentichappiness.com). Seatedrepparttar 131023 first night between Winifred and a drunk woman who never returned, he remained cordial and charming. BTW, showing up drunk is not high EQ.

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