Why you don't need MotivationWritten by Marie-Pier Charron, Life Coach
As a life coach, I often hear people say they lack motivation – in fact, “motivation discussion” is almost a ritual with my new clients. You really want something, in fact you almost need it, but you just don’t have drive to get to it. As a result, you blame yourself; you get stuck in your disappointment, your guilt, or your frustration – further and further away from your goal. But why are we not always driven enough to meet our objectives in first place? Is it that we are not sufficiently determined? Or maybe we are not tough and strong enough?The way I see things, motivation is akin to sap that runs in tree: it keeps tree alive – in fact, it’s essential to it – but it’s useless if tree (our objective) is rooted in poor, unhealthy grounds. It’s not our motivation that makes objective real, it’s other way around: when our goals are healthy, drive to take action flows naturally. When our goals are unhealthy, we have to push ourselves all along path to “success” – and we don’t even feel like celebrating at end (when we do get there). So what is an “unhealthy” objective? It’s an objective we hold for wrong reasons, or with wrong attitude: it’s rooted in poor grounds. It’s not that we should not lose weight; it’s just that we decided to do so because we don’t like (let alone love) ourselves and we think that will patch problem. It’s not that we should not start this new business; it’s just that we are dead afraid of failure. And there’s nothing wrong with studying law, it’s just that we do so only to honor our (deceased) father’s values and wishes. There are many factors that can literally kill our motivation at its roots, but weakness certainly isn’t one of them. The real motivation inhibitors go more along this line: - Our objective is not a real priority (Going to gym, when you have three children to take care of) - We feel our objective is inaccessible (A brand-new Volvo when we can’t afford a Toyota) - Our objective was inspired or chosen by someone else (That law degree…Or maybe your partner wants you to stop smoking)
| | How to meditate without even tryingWritten by Marie-Pier Charron, Life Coach
I remember when I started trying to meditate. I would sit down, close my eyes, and try to be really calm (my definition of meditation at time). That was hard: my head would burst with ideas, thoughts, solutions, problems… I would become agitated, and stopped generally after ten long minutes, if not less. It’s during my short “meditations” that I felt less… meditative.I knew there was something for me to explore that was beyond physical world. I knew I would unleash my potential, by “going within”. And sitting meditation, as I knew it, was #1 technique that would lead me there. Yet, I just couldn’t do it… I was inadequate. No, I wasn’t - and neither are you, if you are experiencing a similar situation. It’s your definition of meditation that may be inadequate. The idea behind meditation is not to sit on a chair, and close our eyes. Or to sit in lotus, and watch leaves change colors. You can do all this if you feel a call to do so, but whatever technique you choose is just as relevant as type of fork you eat your meals with. Forks, meditations, cars, are just tools that help us accomplish a specific task… Meditation, we could say, is an “altered state of consciousness”. We do not see things as we normally do; we feel connected to something bigger than our everyday selves; we feel “wider” than usual. In a few words, we are so immersed in ourselves that we can transcend our own limitations. Now, question is: what do you need to feel that way (if so you wish)? For some people, it’s gardening; for others, it’s laying down comfortably and listening to music (it doesn’t even need to be New Age…). I personally know someone who meditates by playing card games on her computer. After a few minutes of calculating her moves and keeping score, she looses touch with cards, and she “takes off”. Why don’t we value such activities as much as those that involve candles, cushions, and incense? They may be simple, or silly, but their impact often is important, profound. Even more, they are easy and effortless. No need to be disciplined – we are naturally attracted to them. In some ways, maybe that’s why we don’t always see their true magnitude. They are too accessible and natural. Mustn’t we pay a high price or work hard to get anything of value? If it’s easy, it’s not worth much… or so we were told.
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