Terry Dashner FFC-PO Box 1586 Broken Arrow, OK 74013

In my youth I watched Star Trek on black and white TV when I could watch nothing else. I remember very few episodes from those days except one. I don’t remember episode title, but I do remember its content and significance of its two hues—black and white.

Bottom line—the episode content highlighted stupidity of prejudice. Throughout show two life forms appearing to be human, fought desperately to destroy each other although they looked just alike. Both life forms had faces colored one half white and other black. The episode’s crescendo built throughout, until concluding scene. In end when human-life forms were confronted about their hate for each other, they were aghast that no one could see their differences—one had right side of his face black while left side was white. The other--you guessed it--his was just opposite—left side black and right white. (Duh!)

While thinking about this episode other day, it brought a question to my mind, a question I wish to address in this paper. Why do some people, kindred, tribes, cultures, ethnic groups, or even religions hate more than others do? Why do Arabs and Jews hate each other badly enough to kill and continue killing predictably? Why do Sunnis hate Shia although both groups are Muslim? Why does Pakistani hate Kurd? Why do some Christians refuse open Communion services with others? Why do…Why do…we hate one another?

What to write about? Describe yourself honestly and accurately. Include hard data such as your height, weight, body type, educational background and profession. Show your personality. Talk about your hobbies, interests, activities you enjoy, movies, books, or music you enjoy, where you like to travel, and minimally about your work (do not give your place of employment....keep it general such as: I am a nurse at a local clinic, an accountant with a medium size company, etc). Don't share too much information or write a book.....just write enough to get them interested. You have to leave something to talk about later.

Share your feelings and experiences, not just facts about your life. You don't want your profile to be a touchy-feely pile of mush (can you hear your potential dates heading for door?), but you do want to communicate things people can relate to: where you're from, where you are, where you're going in life, what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. DON'T fixate on only one aspect of your life: You may love your dog, have a great career, live to ski, and those are great things to talk about in your profile. But if you talk about that and only that, you're going to come off as one-dimensional and obsessed. Show your fully rounded self. Put your personality and humor into what you write. Tell what you are like, and don't try to make false impressions. False impressions will back fire in online dating arena as much as they will in rest of your life. Relax, and let your true self show through. There are people who will like who you are.

Don't dwell on your problems and limitations: This is not place to talk about why you got divorced, your last relationship didn't work out, or problems at work. You can talk about this later after you get to know someone. If you have children, mention them BRIEFLY with their ages and sex. Do not spend time talking about your children or reveal their names. People are wanting to look at a profile that focuses on YOU, not your immediate family. You can talk about your childcare arrangements and coaching little league soccer, etc later. People looking at your profile want to know you have time for them. Focusing on your children and their activities can give impression that you will have limited time.

What you are looking for: Think about who you are and what you are looking for. To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang out with? Do you want something short term or long term? Do you just want to chat with? (Ex. I am looking for a cultured man between 32-45 who is a Christian, attends church, college educated, and is into opera and gallery hopping). (Ex. Looking for a down to earth gal between 22-30 that likes country, camping, country music, country dancing and NASCAR). Don't say that you are looking for love of your life and want to get married....this will scare a lot of people away. Its good idea to state general type of person you are hoping to meet, but don't overdo it. If you set down too many requirements you will miss out on opportunity to meet some great people, and quite possibly one that is just right for you.

Words to Use and Avoid:

Good Words: Affectionate, Likes to cuddle, interested in a committed relationship, sensitive, great cook, romantic, caring, monogamous, down to earth, looking for best friend, educated, sophisticated, loving, generous, cute, reliable, my colleagues describe me as handsome, great legs, petite, curvaceous, hourglass figure, gentleman.