If you’ve got intelligence, skills, training, academic degrees, expertise and experience and still aren’t getting jobs and promotions, maybe there’s something in your personal and professional development you’ve ignored. Many people are finding that it’s emotional intelligence.

In today’s economy, you can count on many people having qualifications similar to yours. It’s getting more and more competitive out there! When you go in for an interview, or when you compete within your own organization, you won’t be only person highly qualified to do job. So how can you stand out?

I’m reminded of a client I spoke with other day who’s now retired. He talked about when he graduated summa cum laude from his college and had scored in 99th percentile on LSAT (the law boards), quite an exceptional score wouldn’t you say? Exceptional enough to get him accepted to Harvard Law School. He felt good about his ability to compete. But during orientation week at Harvard, he discovered that everyone else he talked with had also scored 99th percentile on LSAT and graduated summa cum laude. “Uh oh,” he thought. He said it was a great lesson in life.

So what can give you edge? It’s what used to be called “soft” skills, and more and more they’re looking like “hard” skills you need to compete with. In a field where others are equally qualified, how are you going to stand out? With your personal skills. Your emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence means being able to identify and understand your own emotions and those of others, and to use them to effect good outcomes. The level of your emotional intelligence will affect your resilience, your ability to work with a team, your interpersonal skills, leadership skills, focus, problem-solving ability, creativity, flexibility, communication, and one other important life skill – your gut instincts.

How have you tried to change in past? Have you actually changed habits? What do you know now about change?

GROUNDWORK FOR CHANGE

The first key in creating groundwork is imaging yourself AFTER change has been accomplished. If you cannot see yourself as a stronger, more fit person, you will never be able to begin and continue exercise to get yourself there. If you cannot see yourself as a non-smoker, it will not happen. So begin to visualize new you in detail. See change in your imagination. (This will also bring up your awareness of gains and losses in this change and give you time to grieve losses.)

Would a visual clue remind you of commitment? How about using an old picture of a slimmer you? How about creating a symbol of what you can do when you no longer smoke—hiking or playing with young people?

Your perspective on change can also be a roadblock. Some of my clients are not comfortable doing things for themselves. They sacrifice to care for another but not for themselves. Eating right or making time for refreshing activity are gifts to you, and not selfish at all. How can you make time for YOU? A change in perspective is needed.

Second, a good plan is essential as well as a support system of people to call if you fall off wagon. You will want to reward yourself, too. A client who stopped smoking decided to buy a magazine, paint her nails, or go out for coffee. Small things, for sure, but a celebration of her progress. For years, I knew I wanted to meditate daily. I would do a session on couple of mornings and then fall out of habit. Then I took a course where I made a promise to mediate daily. The external support and accountability was there. I began meditating have been doing it regularly for months.

Who could support you? Friends or family members who encourage you are great. You may also want to consider a coach. A life coach is a neutral person who can provide support and accountability and be a catalyst for change you want.

WHAT DO YOU VALUE?