All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on
characteristics of
children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma -
easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce. As a parent, you should know your children better than anyone...use your best judgment with your children during considering divorce. This "divorce and children" article is for parents who are certain that they would get a divorce if they didn't have children and want to decide what to think about regarding
effects a divorce would have on their children.
In *Dr. Robert Emery's book, "The Truth About Children And Divorce", he explains that children of divorced parents can actually live wonderful lives as long as
parents use proper judgment and create
right types of interactions between themselves and with each other.
*Dr. Emery is a divorce mediation expert and is a Professor of Psychology. Dr. Emery serves as
Director of
Center for Children, Families, and The Law for
Department of Psychology at
University of Virginia.
This article on this web page does not suggest that divorce is
correct course of action for you and it in no way should be taken as a form of counseling to you. This article is merely to spark you to think logically and then make your own decision about divorce and your children.
As previously stated, every child is different and subsequently, every child responds to divorce in a different way.
If you think there's a definitive answer about how divorce affects children, you are mistaken. There's been hundreds of books written about this subject and a plethora of studies done regarding divorce and children, all citing differing opinions and using different statistical constraints and inputs. But, statistics can only go so far...if you know your children better than anyone else, you will know best how they'll be affected by a divorce.
How divorce affects children and what you should do if you're staying married solely because you have children is complicated issue.
Here's some things you may want to consider if you're a parent who is staying married just because you have children:
Children and divorce consideration 1: Make sure that you are, in fact, only staying married just because you have children.
Often times people use
children as an excuse not to get a divorce because they aren't really sure that they want a divorce or have some other fear regarding divorce. Those fears can be present due to finance, self-confidence, living arrangements, or other personal issues.
Before you really take
next steps in deciding whether or not to get a divorce because of your children, rank your reasons for divorce and make sure that you're really certain you'd get a divorce if you didn't have children.