Who Has The Greatest Job In The World?Written by Rev. James L. Snyder
I have, in my opinion, world's perfect job. Just look at evidence. I love people and I love God. I love talking to people about God and I love talking to God about people.Therefore, if you put these two together, I am doing what I love doing: greatest job in world. I must confess, however, this was not always case. When I wore a younger man's suit, I had different ideas about what would be greatest job in world for me. Nowhere on that short list did being a pastor appear. God, sometimes, displays a marvelous sense of humor in selecting people for his service. I am supreme example. The apostle Paul writes, "But God hath chosen foolish things of world to confound wise; and God hath chosen weak things of world to confound things which are mighty;" (1 Corinthians 1:27 KJV.) As a young person, I thought only one job would be greatest job in world. In my mind, I aspired to this fabulous career often fantasizing about how great it would be to spend all my time in this job. The greatest job in world to me at that time was being a Snow Cone Man. Nothing compared, in my estimation, to Snow Cone Man. I was not alone in my aspirations. Most of my pals at time harbored similar vocational goals. No person in our lives at time was as exciting as Snow Cone Man. The SCM came down our street three times a week, without fail, much to our delight. This, of course, was during our summer vacation when we were out of school and had plenty of time on our hands. Perhaps, in our small town, with nothing to really interest or excite us, Snow Cone Man was one thing we had to look forward to. Regardless, we believed he had greatest job in world. For one, he rode coolest motorcycle vehicle I have ever seen — a three-wheel motorcycle, with a large compartment on back, containing all snow cone accoutrements. I don't know if it was motorcycle or cargo that fascinated us. Your guess is probably right one. Also, he wore a nifty white suit with a fabulous hat. At time, I would have given anything for a hat like his. It was often topic of our discussion when he left us to our snow cone treats. One thing was sure, everybody loved him. He sold those snow cones for 5 cents each. What a bargain. The icy treat was a paper cone piled high with crushed ice and then flavored with your choice of strawberry, raspberry, lemon, lime syrup, but my all-time favorite was root beer.
| | Beware of Thick Ankled Women!Written by Ed Williams
It’s funny kinds of things that you remember sometimes. Just a little while ago I began smiling because I was thinking about something my mother told me many years ago. I was a teenager at time, and I think that I was dating several girls instead of just dating my steady girlfriend. My mother, for some inexplicable reason, was not too crazy about that, so she gave me a lecture about how I was going to lose her. She went on and on and on about it, and I finally grumbled back some sort of response, which prompted her to look at me and say something that I still remember to this day. She said,“Son, beware of city women that smell too good, country women that act too good, and old women with fast hands.” Pretty profound, huh? I thought so, too. Funny thing, though, since then I’ve learned a little more about life, and have picked up on something rather interesting. She was one hundred percent right about watching out for smelly city women, too good country women, and she was very, very right about fast handed old women, but I’ve discovered that it’s not these type women that men need to watch out for most. In my experience, women that you need to watch out for most, in fact, women that you need to give a very wide berth to, is those women with thick ankles. That’s right, women with thick ankles. I mean, think about it for a second, women with thick ankles need to be given plenty of space. Ed Jr. whole heartedly agrees. When I asked him about this, he told me that women with big ankles naturally have bad dispositions. He said that they really have no choice, if you think about it. When I asked him why, he said that whenever big ankled women lay down that their ankles rub together. “And son, over time, they build up calluses, so it has to hurt, and it would right smart affect a person’s disposition. Think about it, a person’s ankles clunking together over and over and over again. Imagine how it would affect it a person after years of it. They’d end up being one mean, easy to rile up, parentheses legged person. When it gets down to it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman with thick ankles who‘s been in a good mood.”
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