What do you do when you don’t know
language or customs? That’s when your EQ, or Emotional Intelligence, comes in handy.On my recent tour to Russia, people in large cities (Moscow, Saint Petersburg) knew English, but not in small villages (Yaroslavl, Uglich).
I thought I’d pick up Russian quickly, but I didn’t for several reasons: 1.Jet Lag turns your thinking brain (neocortex) to mush 2.You can’t “picture” words because Russian alphabet is Cyrillic; i.e., Catherine Great’s initial is “E” because in Russian, it’s Ecaterina. 3.Russian’s not a “Romance language”. The sounds and cadence aren’t familiar. They have sounds that don’t exist in English. 4.Russian people are courteous and quietly charming, but they’re conscientious workers who stay focused. They’d also rather improve their English than teach you Russian. 5.They’re reserved in public so you don’t hear a lot of words. When I said, “Good morning” in Russian, I’d get back, “Good morning.” Silence.
RELY ON YOUR NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION.
One thing I did was exaggerate my expression (pleading) and gestures (2 fingers for $2), and put some warmth in my eyes. Fear is contagious; so is trust. Their expressions, when revealed, were quite recognizable, i.e., a shrug, breaking eye-contact when they’ve made their last offer.
SCARY BABUSHKA
In museums such as Hermitage or Armory, older women sit in a chair in each room. It’s their job to make sure no one touches anything.
When Ugly American (Paul) in our tour group touched a curtain in Peterhof, Russian grandmother (babushka) sprang to her feet with a thud, clapped her hands twice, loudly, then advanced toward Paul shaking her finger and barking Russian. We didn’t need to understand words.
INTERPRETATION PLEASE
But what did this mean in this country? Was Paul going to Siberia? How could we find out?
One of things our mother does is interpret for us. A well-known experiment involves researchers placing a baby on a Plexiglas shield resting across a high table. When baby crawls to edge of visual drop, he’s. It feels solid but looks like a precipice. So he looks over to his Mom to find out what he’s supposed to do, which mean finding out how he’s supposed to feel. If she looks happy, he proceeds. If she looks scared, he stops.
So we turned to Leo, our Russian guide, to see how serious this was. Leo was laughing and relaxed. A young man with much EQ, he quickly put his arm around Russian women, turning her away and soothing her. How? Babushkas all over world are soft on young men.
CATCHING ON QUICK IS ANOTHER EQ COMPETENCY
– We were warned about gypsies – such faces, such gestures. Ann, who thought they were “sweet” and didn’t listen, got pickpocketed. – When you accept flowers youths give you in villages, it isn’t a gift. They will haunt you with looks until you fork over some money. – You’ll quickly see shopkeepers expect to bargain. They name a price and then pause, expectantly. – How susceptible are you to “beautiful lady”? Vendors everywhere know those words in English. – Who can resist a child? Here’s Katya hustling my sister - http://www.theintrovertzcoach.com/islands4.html at Svir Stroy. – It’s officially illegal for Russians to accept American dollars. Quickly you’ll learn they all do. Just as long as you don’t ask. (It isn’t illegal to give dollars.) – Customs officials worldwide have a crummy job. A smile goes a long way with them.
