What you give is what you get!

Written by Kenia Morales


Are you having a hard time relating to others? Are people offending or avoiding you? Are you unable to maintain friends? Well, chances are that you are holdingrepparttar key torepparttar 129257 door called solution. I know you might be thinking, me? What control do I have over other people? And you are probably right; you do not or, can not control other people’s actions. But, there is one thing you can do: Take charge of your own behavior.

Others actions can just be a mirror of yours, here are some examples that promote negative energy towards you:

•perhaps you are feeling disoriented and are not so much fun to be around, •maybe you are hurtful or mean to others by saying rude comments •Are you depressed? •Do you nag allrepparttar 129258 time? •Are you treating your friends and family with respect? •Are you a gossiper?

Addiction to Self-Judgment

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long asrepparttar author resource box atrepparttar 129255 end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com

Title: Addiction to Self-Judgment Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 704 Category: Self Improvement

Addiction to Self-Judgment By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

“I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?” “I’m a looser. I’ll never get anywhere.” “I’m so stupid. I should have learned this by now.” “I don’t fit in. I don’t belong with these people.” “I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never do it right enough.” “I’m permanently emotionally damaged. I’ll never be okay.” “No one could love me. I’m not lovable.”

…and so on and so on.

Are you aware of your self-judgments? Are you aware of how often you judge yourself as bad, wrong, or inadequate? Are you aware of how you end up feeling as a result of your self-judgments?

In my counseling work with people, I find that self-judgment is one ofrepparttar 129256 major causes of fear, anger, anxiety and depression. Yet most people don’t realize that these painful feelings arerepparttar 129257 result of their own thoughts, their own self-judgments. Most ofrepparttar 129258 time, when I ask an anxious client why they are feeling anxious, they tell me that it’s because of something that happened to them. They usually believe that an event or a person caused their anxiety. Yet when I ask them what they are thinking that might be causing their anxiety, they will tell me a self-judgment such as, “I’ll never get this right,” or they are projecting their own judgment onto me and telling themselves, “Margaret doesn’t like me,” or “Margaret is getting impatient with me.” When they judge themselves or make up that I’m judging them, they get anxious. There is nothing actually happening that is causing their anxiety, other than their own thoughts.

Pointing out to them that they are causing their anxiety with their self-judgment doesn’t not necessarily stoprepparttar 129259 judgment. This is because self-judgment is often an addiction. An addiction is a habitual behavior that is intended to protect against pain. What isrepparttar 129260 pain that self-judgment is intended to protect against?

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