There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are
things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine.A few months ago I made a statement in a small group of co-workers concerning fact that somewhere along way, as a mechanism (as in "clear the... " (from movie 'For Love of Game', see it if you haven't. It's awesome...)) for getting through tough situations, I developed belief that I always win. ALWAYS! Until I said it and it was "out there" I hadn't ever really thought about it in terms of being a belief that I had. I feel though that having this belief has smoothed me out. I don't suffer drastic fluctuations in way I feel based on how things are going for me. Basically I always feel pretty up in game. It's because of this goofy voice in back of my mind that constantly reminds me that no matter how bad things may look right now "you know you're gonna win, why even get bothered about it". I just believe I'm always going to win. What I'm saying here is that no matter what situation I believe that if I keep my head, and dig into it more I will be shown a way to see myself as better off for new experience that I've just encountered. No matter how rough experience may appear to observers on outside, you'd better understand and believe on inside Clyde's winnin' baby.
A little education here, bare with me...
Back when I was playing in lots of racquetball tournaments, and losing more than I was winning, it was rough mentally. There were times at end of certain matches when I had just got beaten so badly that I really seriously considered trying to dig a hole into that hardwood floor and covering myself up. This rather than go out of that stinkin little door and face what was on outside of court. Racquetball is not a huge spectator sport but there were some tournaments in California and Texas, two states where sport enjoys it's largest participation, when somewhere around 500 to 600 people would turn out to see action. Now that doesn't sound like a lot of people when you consider how many people show up for some other sporting events, but in racquetball fans are a lot closer to you when you exit field of play than they are in most other sports. So close in fact that you can feel their stares and hear their comments about your performance, and we all know everyone has an opinion. They get to look into your eyes, and you into theirs. That's close, and not always comfortable. It's one of now small things that I had to learn to deal with.
In racquetball if you get beat without scoring, as in 15 - 0, it's called "taking a donut". Let me tell you guys and girls something right here right now, you gotta have a strong constitution to take a 'double donut' in a 2 out of 3 game match and still show up next weekend to possibly face same opponent with many of same people looking on. At one point my practice buddies took to calling me 'the baker'. I must have set some kind of record with number of donuts I took in tournament play. I got so tired of hearing question "Man, what happened?" that I developed a personal policy to never talk about score off racquetball court. Whether I came out ahead on scoreboard or not I never talked about it. Period.
