What Really Creates Emotional Intimacy Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: What Really Creates Emotional Intimacy Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 646 Category: Relationships, Intimacy WHAT REALLY CREATES EMOTIONAL INTIMACY By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Think back to a time when you felt really close and connected with someone - a time when you felt emotionally intimate with this person. Think about a time when you felt light and playful with someone, or a time when laughter flowed easily, or a time when you felt you could tell your deepest secret and it would be accepted. We all yearn for that deep connection with someone, yet few people seem to be able to maintain emotional intimacy for very long. We often have it at very beginning of relationships, before conflicts start. How can we maintain that wonderful intimacy in a long-term relationship? The deep and wonderful feeling of intimacy flourishes in an atmosphere of safety. We open up when we feel safe. We take risks when we feel safe. The challenge is - how do we create this safety? Most of time people feel safe when they are with someone who is very accepting, caring, and compassionate. The problem is that no one is completely reliable when it comes to these qualities. Most people have bad days when they may be irritable or grumpy. What happens to safety when other person’s acceptance and caring goes away? Our sense of safety needs to come from within as well as without. We need to become person, especiallly with ourselves, who is consistently accepting, caring and compassionate. We need to become strong enough within to not take another’s bad day personally. We need to become centered enough within to stand up for ourselves when another gets angry or blaming. We need to become powerful enough within to stay open-hearted in face of fear and conflict.
| | Intuition: Maybe Not Such a "Soft" Skill After AllWritten by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach
Lorna Ramsay and her husband, David, live in Scotland and run TOP-SET® Incident Investigation System ( http://www.TOP-SET.com ). They teach how to investigate industrial accidents all over world, for high-hazard industries as well as emergency services and medical sector. They and TOP-SET® team also go into field to investigate for clients all over world, and teach engineers who work in nuclear plants, oil and gas, explosives and other high hazard industries, how to stay safe by using their intuition. The most rewarding outcome of their work is companies find that being humanitarian affects their bottom line. What they learn through TOP-SET® saves lives, increases business performance, enhances company’s reputation, increases profitability, complies with regulation, and prevents and predicts similar occurrences. And it also affects employee morale and attitude. “When an employer sends his or her managers to our seminars,” says Lorna, “they know company cares about them. What we teach – and we’re educators, not trainers – spills over in other areas of workplace. TOP-SET® is a ‘thinking system.’ We teach our clients to investigate, i.e., to think their way through what is really a complex problem. We’re ‘problem-solvers.’ And once you can analyze what happened, and learn from it, you can prevent and eventually predict.” HOW DO THEY TEACH INTUITION? “Go back to when you were in an unfamiliar situation,” says Lorna. “Think of how a dog or child behaves. When my dog runs down to beach in morning and sees a rubbish bag, she’ll sniff, circle it, even bare her teeth until she’s sure it’s safe. Well that’s what these engineers need to learn how to do, to 'sense' when something has changed.”
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