What's up with Unconditional Love?

To tell you truth, I'm a little disillusioned with term unconditional love, lately. It's just not "natural". The phrase has been used for decades, by psychologists, therapists, A.A. types and overall spiritually minded to describe how one should cope with impossible behavior." The original principle behind concept, was to help person who is being abused accept circumstances and not have to live in a perpetual state of resentment towards their partner. You, as codependent (ie one who is always hurt) is supposed to see your partner as "sick" and not blame him or her for their actions. You're supposed to love and care for adulterer, batterer, gambler, manic depressive or alcoholic same way you would someone who has flu. Husband comes home drunk? Sober him up with cups of black coffee and a dose of your eternally burning, unconditional love. Boyfriend unfaithful? That's O.k., because you have unconditional love for him that will last for an eternity. Girlfriends rack up your credit cards again with her compulsive shopping? You'll take care of bills because you're love for her is undying and unconditional and you've told yourself ""I'll always love her no matter what ...."

Those of us who have been there know that we can only comfort ourselves with concept of unconditional love for so long until relationship becomes too expensive, emotionally, socially and financially. This is often more serious then kind of consequences we pay when someone is sick with "the flu." Plus lately, after talking to many clients, many of whom are still paying in one way or another for irresponsible behavior of a full grown adult, I am starting to conclude that when person with "ism" or "recently diagnosed personality disorder" is on to us then out comes term unconditional love. If we say no or object to behavior, he or she can always turn around and go "but I thought you said your love was me was

Cutting the Cord

Sometimes, after a relationship has ended, many of us have problems letting go. A lot of my clients often complain of feeling haunted or even possessed by dearly departed (who probably isn't even thinking of you at all and is busy happily running away with his or her new partner.) It's like person has left an indelible imprint upon your heart and many of us feel that we can't go on until ex returns. The energy of ex might be manifesting itself in all sorts of ways --- in what you perceive to be little omens or reminders that occur in every day life (such as a phrase or song lyric) or even as a visitor in your dreams. There are all kinds of cures for this phenomenon, (everything from burning bundles of sage to clear room of ex's vibe to throwing out every single reminder of him or her, including bed.) Yet before you ditch Sealy Posturepedic, I suggest you try this little exercise called "Cutting The Cord." The idea behind this is that whenever we connect to someone we connect to him or her at point of our solar plexus, area just below your diaphragm. When we first meet someone and fall in love, we spend a lot of time building up this energy which lightworkers say looks like a rope of light that connects two people. However, even after one person disappears, rope can still remain. Often, person who is left behind spends a lot of time fortifying that rope with his or her own psychic energy in an attempt to bring person back. The ex can compare to a psychic vampire, who is gleefully sucking back energy that dumped person is sending them. It doesn't even matter if you are sending them bad thoughts or resentment. That energy is often translated to them in purest form of astral energy -- and they use it to transmute and feed their new relationship. So in order to prevent yourself being sucked dry by psychic vampire, oops I mean ex, I suggest you try this: Lie down on bed, breathe deeply and become as relaxed as you can. Now picture other person and cord of light that you created when you thought both of you would be connected for all eternity. Visualize that cord as best you can and examine it.