But many times, we say and do more damaging things to ourselves than we would ever consider inflicting on someone we detest. We believe that we know "real" us and that deep down, that person isn't too great.

This certainly isn't logical and at some level, I know that I'm really a good person. I don't make a habit of hurting other people, and I want to make a positive impact on world. So, why did I sometimes hear myself saying things like, "Why did you do that, you big dummy?" or "Get off your butt and do something, lazy"?

One day, out of seeming blue, answer hit me. I was so hard on myself because I didn't love myself enough. In other words, I had a "negative" balance in my personal "trust" account. I didn't trust myself enough to be kind of person I desired to be plus, I was only one making all withdrawals from my account.

How do you make withdrawals from your personal trust account? You do it when someone says something hurtful that you know is untrue and you remain silent or worse, you agree with them. You do it when you start an exercise program and then don't go to gym as you promised yourself or you stay in a job that you know rewards you much less than you're worth, or conflicts with your personal values.

So, if you're making all withdrawals, who makes deposits into your trust account? That's your job, one that only you can do. Some examples include making and keeping social appointments with people that support you and matter to you, telling someone immediately after they've intentionally hurt you that you don't accept that, and meaning it,asking someone you admire to mentor you, then actually acting upon their advice.

I believe with all my heart that each of us is a fantastic human being. We've just got to get out of our own way. What we've done and experienced in past is gone and, most importantly, it's not us. We are not what we do or what has been done to us. We are what you are, and that's more than enough.

Try to visualize your internal personal trust account. See a blank ledger page or an empty, clear glass piggy bank and imagine that you are starting with balance of zero, a totally clean slate.

Okay, let's take an in-depth look at attitude. What is it? It is a way of responding to our environment that is derived mostly from our generalizations about others and system. We adopt and express a certain attitude in order to preserve ours was from" harm" or to maintain a preferred personal status quo.

Attitude is always expressed in relations to others. (others, goals, system ) outside of oneself

What you may not have known is that your attitude says a lot about your self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-affirmation. More than it says anything about others! Your attitude tells world about your self-esteem, self-acceptance as well as your self-affirmation.

• Self-esteem is judgement of self-worth, resulting in peace or lack there of with self and others! It presents as presence or absence of enthusiasm and sense of purpose.
• Self-acceptance is reconciliation with self refusing to be in an adversarial relationship with self.
• Self-affirmation is saying yes to yourself! Refusing to berate yourself unnecessarily without being haughty or pompous and self-deceived.

At any given time your attitude is a result of an interaction between your outcomes expectancies and your efficacy beliefs. These two determine what kind of attitude you express to wards others (others, goals,system). What are they?

• Outcomes expectancies are expectations of a specific result, which influence choice of action to be taken.
• Efficacy beliefs are beliefs about your capabilities to organize & execute courses required to produce certain results.

• High Outcomes Expectancies lead to an attitude that spurs you to do something to get a result.
• Low Outcomes Expectancies leads to avoiding certain tasks/actions or chalenges
• High Efficacy Beliefs lead to being prepared to take on a challenge.
• Low Efficacy Beliefs lead to an "I won't be able to do it" attitude.