Welcoming our Wounded SelvesWritten by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: Welcoming our Wounded Selves Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 526 Category: Emotional Healing WELCOMING OUR WOUNDED SELVES By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. "I just want to get rid of part of me that gets angry so easily." "I hate part of me that thinks about food all time." "I just want to kill part of me that is so needy." For last 35 years I have been counseling individuals, couples, families and business partners and have authored eight published books. In course of my work, I often hear people I counsel wanting to get rid of their wounded aspects. This would be like attempting to kill off a child who is having problems. This would, of course, cause child many more problems. Instead, we need to learn to welcome, embrace, love and explore with many wounded parts of ourselves. These parts exist due to false beliefs that we have from our childhood experiences. These parts heal with love and truth, not with being disowned. One day, when I was walking and talking with my inner guidance, I asked about my own wounded, disowned aspects. "There is really only one disowned aspect that all other aspects come from. This aspect is victim. The victim is like mothership from which all other wounded aspects emerge." "Me? A victim?" I was a triffle miffed. I did not see myself as a victim. "Of course," said my guidance. "How can anyone grow up in your society and not believe you are a victim? Everyone has had many experiences in childhood of feeling victimized. The beliefs regarding being a victim are in very young child within. Until beliefs within this wounded inner child are healed, you are being governed by them, even though you may not be aware of it. No one wants to feel like victim, so all protections are to have control over not feeling like a victim. All anger, blame, withdrawal, denial, defensiveness, resistance, caretaking and so on are to have control over not being controlled. All addictions are to not feel feelings of helplessness and aloneness that come from feeling like a victim. Embrace part of you that believes you are a victim and you will find yourself able to embrace all feelings and behavior that come from belief that you are a victim. Who do you know who never thinks that their feelings or behavior is not caused by someone else, or by events, or by God? Who do you know who takes full responsibility for all their feelings and behavior, especially in their relationships?"
| | What Are the ABC's of Your Dream Job?Written by Sheri A. Callahan
What are ABC’s of Your Dream Job? Sheri A. Callahan, President, Horizon Consulting Group, LLC Keynotes, Training and Performance Consulting 803-606-3650 www.onthehorizon.net“How’s work going?” Where does this question come from? Why do people ask us about our work? Don’t they have enough of their own work issues? The irony is that we usually don’t give a real answer to this question. How would it sound if we said, “My job really stinks!” Today’s world isn’t quite prepared for that kind of honesty. We tend to like responses that are simple, happy and successful. Am I referring to you? How about your neighbor? When you meet in yard do you simply reply, “My job is going fine.”? Or do you say, “Let me tell you about horrors of my job.” I doubt that is your response, because generally we have simply become conditioned to put up with daily grind and keep smiling. CAN IT CHANGE? The employment decisions that we made today, a month ago, a year ago or even a decade ago can certainly impact our everyday life for years to come. Stop right now and think about your job. Do you wake up each morning and throw alarm clock across room? Are you frustrated before you even get to your desk? Are you sick and tired of feeling like your world is spinning and you can’t get off? Is you personal life affected by elements of your employment? CAN IT CHANGE? In today’s world of non-stop pressure we often forget that true success doesn’t come in a paycheck or in prestige of a job title. If you ask people what makes them content in their job it usually is a reflection of overall components of their 8 to 5 life and flexibility of their employer. As a Headhunter, people tell me daily that there are many responsibilities in their job that they love and succeed in completing. They say they love their location, their duties, management style, salary and many others. Unfortunately, they also tell me that their employers don’t realize that those elements aren’t always enough to keep great employees. The misunderstood needs of employees are not as concrete as “Here are your five responsibilities, Kathy.” Things like making it to their son’s baseball game on time, telecommuting, and understanding life issues or even casual dress Fridays are often elements that are important to employees. After all your life is supposed to be more than where you work. So why can’t you have these elements in your job? What is important to you? Have you ever made a formal proposal to your boss to make your job “right” job? If your job had “right” elements would you stop throwing that alarm clock each morning? How nice that would be! YES IT CAN CHANGE! The steps to creating your dream job are as easy as ABC. However, you must be realistic, forward thinking, and cautiously determined in order to make this dream job happen. I also give you this word of caution; not every employer will choose to make changes so that you can be a more rounded employee. Every industry, government agency, and corporation is different; not to mention uniqueness of one’s Boss. So it is up to you to get out that pen and paper, brainstorm, and make it happen. Follow ABC’s for creating your dream job today! 1.“A” Assess Your Dream Plan. What are factors that would make you most happy in a job? Is it specific duties, money, location, hours, environment, dress code...etc? List them all then weed out highly unlikely. Make a list of pros and cons of your job. Determine cons you can tackle with a reasonable alternative. For example, can you do that extra work from home so you can get to baseball game on time? Are these changes possible in your current job or would you need to seek employment elsewhere? Make a list of easy changes that would allow you to stay in your present job. If they look reasonable select only one or two primary objectives to propose to your Boss. Always be realistic about what an employer can accomplish with those objectives.
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