Welcome to my stress-free world By David Leonhardt What
world needs more of is...stress.
Sadly, I must deliver a formal apology to all 17,124 subscribers to my newsletter, A Daily Dose of Happiness, for running a series on stress reduction tips and wasting their time in such a frivolous fashion, when they could be using that time to watch all-oatmeal channel, polish their medicine cabinet shelves or mow shag rug.
I've noticed lately that world is undergoing a severe stress shortage. Consider a few facts.
The US election is showcasing two perfect human beings, courageous leaders, generous to a fault, humble and eager to work with one another to create a heaven on earth...and in Iraq (Where else would one find Heaven?).
The European Union is proving to be very model of cooperation as France eagerly removes yolk of tax oppression, suggested by Poland, to cut its 0.02% unemployment even further.
Osama Bin Laden has issued an ultimatum, warning all terrorists that he will personally pour their choice of vanilla soda or egg nog on anyone thinking nasty thoughts.
And Hugh Hefner has been working tirelessly with young boys to help them understand value of celibacy before marriage.
That's just world. I have noticed around my own home that 3-year-old Little Lady gets dressed all by herself, and so does Little Sister.
Lately, I have been able to find everything I am looking for immediately, never having to look in fridge for, say, my razor.
Nothing seems to break down anymore, (especially not water pump, satellite TV signal, electric screwdriver, car battery, calking around front window, or my nervous system). This computer just doesn't want to crash anymore.
And I just can't get #@$&*% toast to burn anymore!
Best of all, my wife and I agree on everything, including how to raise our children, even what we would do if one of them in her teenage years declares herself to be an alien implant on Earth, sent on a search and destroy mission for all fast food on planet. We even agree on whether cauliflower and broccoli should be overcooked or not (It should not!)
