You do research, buckle under and dive in. But you find your fiancé's ardor for event itself seems to have cooled. It's not that he isn't mad about marrying you; after all, he is a great guy, even if he can't tell a Vera Wang from a Gunny Sack. It's that his preparation style is hands-off, to say least. And planning a wedding isn't a job built for one.

So what to do? Here are ten ways to involve him without increasing both of your stress loads:

1) Delegate areas that have a prayer of interesting him.

The worst thing you can do is expect him to match your ten to twenty years of feminine wisdom on relative merits of buttercream vs. fondant.

Here are some probable no areas when roping in a reluctant wedding planner:

- Selecting cake frosting - Choosing favors or favor packaging - Selecting wedding colors or floral arrangements

Then there are potential maybes, fraught with fewer hazards:

- Choosing photographer - Choosing videographer - Arranging rehearsal dinner - Arranging all-inclusive honeymoon - Renting big, tricky items like outdoor tents

These are probable yeses, well worth running by your guy:

- Selecting DJ or band - Setting up and maintaining your wedding website - Researching and selecting charities, if you choose to donate instead of giving out favors - Setting up carriage, limo or other transportation arrangements

2) If you ask him to help you choose vendors and styles, narrow down choices first.

It's a jungle of options out there, enough to give most natural-born party planner pause. So if you want his opinion on photographers, invites, flowers or cakes, narrow down options to three or four. He's less likely to feel overwhelmed, and more likely to feel like an important part of process.

At times, it'll feel so good to share load that you'll be tempted to drag him into buttercream debate despite your better instincts. At these times, take a deep breath, count to ten, and call your mother or your maid of honor.

3) Ask him directly for help. Let him know how important his input is to you, and that you can't do it without him.

Guys like to be needed. Your frank request for help may be enough to pull him out of his comfort zone and onto your team.

4) Try Art Director/Production Staff approach.

If you think your guy wants to help, but feels uncomfortable playing "art director," give him "production staff" tasks. Have him make payments, pick up food or decor, handle rentals, do online comparison shopping, or reserve hotels and reception halls. These are all jobs that will take a load off your shoulders, while freeing up time for aesthetic stuff you probably enjoy and he doesn't.

Typically, all responsibility falls on one adult child, normally daughter. The adult daughter cares for children, spouse and an older adult relative while maintaining a career. What about caring for needs of caregiver? Her needs are often ignored and trivialized by community, physicians, employers, other family and society in general.

Family caregivers faced with a landscape much different from one commonly accepted and assumed by society suffer guilt and exhaustion while attempting to ‘do it all’.

“Families have never done this with such complicated medical treatment and kind of economic pressures this brings today,” says Carol Leving, director of United Hospital Fund’s Families and Health Care project in New York City. “In old days, people got better or they died.”

Caregivers often times have higher health risks than those they care for. Severe depression, anxiety, substance abuse, severe anger and stress-related diseases including cardiovascular disease, cancer and infectious diseases are highly common.

Quality Care Options Community of Resources is village that you and your loved ones can turn to. Services, resources and support for both older adult and family caregiver are available. Quality Care Options strives to assist entire family by making our service a one-call solution, saving you time, money and stress.

These excerpts from letters sent to QCO tell story much better than I can …