I invite you to think of Valentine's Day as "Focus on Love Day," as opposed to "Hurt About Lack of Love Day" or "Ignore Being Single Day."

Below you will find ways to make your "Focus on Love Day" extraordinarily romantic, whether you are in a long-term relationship, dating, or are single.

A note for people who are in a new relationships, or who are dating someone but are not in a committed relationship. At beginning of a relationship, it is best not to have too any expectations about how Valentine's Day will be celebrated. It is also best not to get disappointed if it is not celebrated in just way you would want. In time, as you and your partner get closer, both of you will be able to celebrate Valentine's Day and other holidays in more meaningful ways.

This Valentine's Day, create a perfect "Focus on Love Day" for yourself, regardless of what your dating partner may or may not have planned for you. Look at suggestions for singles below.

Then, do something small, but meaningful for your dating partner. Look for suggestions for couples below, but tone activity down a bit.

And now, 10 ways to make your "Focus on Love Day" extraordinarily romantic:

1. The Perfect Day

Couples: See if you can start to notice what your lover dreams about, wishes for. Listen for small, attainable things that can make a big difference. Alternatively, subtly question your lover about what he/she pictures as perfect Valentine's Day. Now take information you have gathered and make it into a perfect day for him or her.

Singles: If you had a partner, what would you have him or her do to create your perfect Valentine's Day? Create it for yourself - love yourself that much.

2. The Perfect Card + One Perfect Rose

Couples: Buy or make a lovely card and then fill it to brim with words of love, admiration and appreciation. By "fill it to brim," I mean leave no white space untouched. Present it with one perfect rose.

Singles: Buy or make a lovely card for yourself, and just as above, fill it to brim with words you want to hear from your future lover. Seal envelope and open it on Valentine's Day. Present it to yourself with one perfect rose.

3. Valentine's Day is Not Just for Women

Couples: Ladies, I have it on good authority that guys want to be celebrated too. So get him flowers and candy and a card, too.

Singles: Guys, give yourself that same wonderful Valentine's Day as a relationship partner would give you. You may feel silly, but you will also feel good.

4. Say Goodbye to Obligation, Say Hello to Open Heart

Couples: Don't give or do anything out of obligation this Valentine's Day. Give only from your heart, from love and treasuring your partner. No matter how good or bad your relationship is going, get in touch with how much you truly love and appreciate your partner. Give from that space.

-- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"--

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There are so many people like Alice. They wander around knowing they want something different, but they just move from one thing to next without much thought. These Wanderers may come across their own Cheshire cats who are more than willing to share "their own" advice.

Person "A" says, "Well, if I were you, I would…."

The wanderer, trusting this person, takes person A's advice with little thought on their own. Eventually finds this does not fit what wanderer prefers. So on to person B. Then books C through E. Magazine article F. Persons G, H, I and J. And on and on and…. Well, you get picture.

Related to wanderers are those who will just sit and wait and wait until either mood strikes them or until someone "tells" them what to do. "Couch potatoes" are not really lazy. They will work their tails off on things they like or what people have asked of them. They just want everything ready to go before they "have" to do anything.

Then there are those who had an idea of what they wanted. They got started in a direction and began to make decent progress. Then they started "searching" for that one thing that would make all difference in their lives. Maybe it's a different job, or an additional project or a new accessory they must have.