List Your Assets.

Start with good stuff and give yourself a pat on back. Make a list of all of "pluses" you will bring to a roommate relationship. Here are a few examples, but take time to think up your own. Make sure you cover all three categories:

Personal: Sense of humor, ability to listen, non-smoker, morning person, etc.

Technical: Knowledge of plumbing, phenomenal cook, etc.

Material: Stereo, car, living room furniture, etc.

List Your Faults.

Now that you know you're not such a bad person, consider what "minuses" you will bring to a relationship. Be as honest as you would want your roommate to be with you. (If you can't seem to think of anything, you are kidding yourself). Again, here are a few examples to start you thinking:

On Campus Living: A Different Dynamic

Growing up, most of us lived with people very much like us: our families. After many years of living together, we adapted to habits of our family members, even if they were different than our own habits. After all, these people were our families. We had to get along with each other.

Living on campus offers a different social dynamic. The people you live with now are, most likely, not people you will be living with for rest of your life. While some students do develop lifelong relationships with their college roommates, others live

Although college living experiences are temporary, they offer students many different avenues for personal growth and understanding, and for building interpersonal skills which will help them build relationships after their college years have passed.

Understanding Differences

Living with persons who have different habits and customs can be an educational experience. Sharing differences with one another can lay foundation for greater understanding of different religions, cultures, lifestyles, customs and traditions. The workforce of new millennium will demand a greater understanding of diversity of lifestyles, customs and ways of communicating, because technology has made it easier to link persons and companies across world, with nothing more than a personal computer. Seen in this context, living with persons who have different customs and lifestyles can offer students practical preparation for workforce of tomorrow.

Not Getting Along With Your Roommates?

Here are some things you might try.

Talk To Them Yourself.

This answer may seem a bit too easy, but surprisingly, it is often an option that people avoid. It is easy to let problems go, until they seem so large that talking about them is intimidating. While it may be hard to approach your roommate if he/she is doing something which bother you, it will usually help move problem toward resolution. On other hand, if you don’t tell your roommate that something is bothering you, he or she may not know that you are bothered, and might continue to do thing which bothers you. Even worse, if you seem annoyed at behavior, he or she may misread this annoyance as animosity toward him/her. When this happens, it becomes very difficult to re-open lines of communication.

Mediation

Mediation services are usually offered through your school's Residence Life staff. Mediation is a process where all parties involved in a dispute agree to meet with a third party, who listens to all sides of dispute, and attempts to help parties reach an agreement among themselves. To arrange a mediation, see your Resident Assistant or Community Assistant, or call Office of Residence Life for your campus housing area.

Ground rules for discussion are agreed upon at beginning of mediation, and each party is allowed to state his/her side of dispute, without being interrupted. Then parties suggest possible solutions to dispute. The mediator may ask questions of parties during mediation, to help them suggest alternatives. Mediation is typically a give-and-take type of situation. Each party usually must make some type of concession to another party, in order for a solution to be achieved. The process does not always give each party a perfect solution. The emphasis is on peaceful compromise. If an agreement is made, it is usually put in writing, and signed by parties involved, and mediator signs as a witness. The original copy of agreement is generally kept on file with mediator for term disputing parties live together. The agreement is binding among parties, and terms must be followed by all parties. Should a party violate agreement, he or she would be asked to meet with Resident Director, Area Coordinator, or another appropriate member of Residence Life staff. If other parties wish, another mediation can be held. The staff member would also discuss room change options with person, if problem could not be resolved.

The Mediation Process:

The mediator will:

1. Help parties set ground rules for discussion. Some typical examples:

a.) Each party will listen without interrupting other person.

b.) No name calling.

c.) Each person will "own" his or her own statements and feelings.

d.) Time limits on each person's "turn."

The mediator should also ask each party if he/she has other possible ground rules or conditions for discussing situation.