1. A sense of BELONGING which is picked up before birth. The "vibes" in womb of mother (hard to be a father in this process) will determine whether we are really want- ed by mother, and this can determine our degree of security (or insecurity) in later life.

2. Your sense of WORTH will be determined by your im- mediate family in your early childhood. They instil in you an inner sense of well-being and of being loved. The role of mothers and fathers is critical in socialization process for development of your attitudes. Their expectations of you play a big part in your life script.

3. Your sense of COMPETENCE will also originate in family environment. That is why it is very important to praise and encourage children. If they are continually repr- imanded, children will feel that they can't ever do things right. This then develops into child thinking, "I am a person of no worth who is no good at anything." This atti- tude grows over time and can be re-inforced in working environment. Even extremely competent business execu- tives can feel insecure on a personal level and have difficulty in personal relationships.

DEVELOPING SUCCESS ATTITUDES

Golda Meier, an earlier Prime Minister of Israel, was once asked what made Israel such a success against might of united Arab armies. Israel, as you most probably know, is a small country set in middle of a desert, with virtually no natural resources and no wealth. Meier replied, "All that my country has is spirit of it's people. If people lost their spirit, not even might of United States of America could save us." A right attitude through- out country overcame all odds and insurmountable difficulties throughout it's turbulent history.

The top salesman for Bell telephones in America is a quadri- plegic. Although he can only blink his eyes and open his mouth, his attitude and perseverance have made him num- ber one. (Stanford University after doing extensive research, said that all success is 87.5% as a result of your attitudes. Your skills, abilities and knowledge make up other 12.5%).

HOW DO I GET THE RIGHT ATTITUDE?

1. Enlist co-operation of a positive close friend that you can confide in. Share your personal goals and dreams. Ig- nore "knockers" who will try to put you down out of jeal- ousy (the "tall poppy syndrome" so prevalent here in New Zealand, but especially Australia). 2. Seek out right people (successful and enthusiastic ones who have right attitude). DON'T NEGLECT YOUR OLD FRIENDS TO GET IDEAS , but remember, your poten- tial has nothing to do with your ultimate performance.

3. Select a model to emulate or follow...who you would like to be like? (Only if you are not happy with way you are.)

4. Learn from your mistakes. Daley Thompson, former great British athlete in decathlon said..."I will learn more than any other experience from my failures than my successes." In his goal setting, Thompson was content to grow slowly, be- cause slow growth is more solid, and he did it in small steps.

Look beyond your mistakes and savour successful experiences. Don't feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about your achieve- ments. Make daily affirmations to yourself that you are doing well and are on right track. Reward yourself for minor achievements, or steps on road to your bigger goals. Give yourself credit, no matter how small your achievements, because mental rewards will boost your motivation. All rewards must come from within. This conditioning will cult- ivate a positive attitude in you. (Just like Pavlov's dogs were con- ditioned to salivate through association of ideas.) I remem- ber that from my studies in psychology many many moons ago.

Look forward to positive outcomes and rehearse them in your mind, rather than anticipating failure. Don't repeat bad experiences-our attitude ties us down and limits us, so that mediocrity becomes our destiny.

5. Make most of any situation you find yourself in. Try not to be anxious. Things will work out in end.

"In game of life you can be up one moment and down next. The reason is not luck as in snakes and ladders, but attitudes you choose consciously or unconsciously." Your attitude will determine your entire outlook on life and how you see world- happy or sad, positive or negative. You can choose to see it through rose-coloured spectacles (the eternal optimist who is out of touch with reality). You can also see everything as dark clouds (the absolute pes- simist), or choose to see that every dark cloud has a silver lining, which is a good attitude to have. Well it's true anyway!

I am eternal optimist, out of touch, some say. Some people pick up doom and gloom portrayed by news- papers and media and transfer it to their own daily living. Attitude clouds verything that happens to you and how you react to situations, crises, etc.

Your attitude is your perception of an event- it is your reality. You may perceive a certain situation to be a disaster, while another person may see it differently, as a positive oppor- tunity for trying something new: e.g.. on redundancy or job loss or loss of a relationship.

As we have seen, one's attitude is closely related to your self-image and it is probably most critical factor in deter- mining how successful or how happy you will be in life. The inner attitude you have about yourself will determine your level of success far more than skills and training you have ever received.

1. YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR DESTINY

Personally, due to a traumatic event some years ago, my self-image was severely knocked, which impacted on my attitude for quite a length of time. This was passed onto my wife, who suffered a severe emotional crisis. Our neg- ative attitudes, together with extraneous circumstances, made life very difficult and stressful, leading to misjudge- ments, personal trauma and an inability to make decisions.

However, entirely on our own, we have lifted ourselves and bit by bit, regained our normal positive attitudes, which has enabled us to achieve wonders and a happy life- style.

2. THE FACTORY OF THE MIND

Your thoughts become your beliefs, and your thoughts determine whether "good" (positive), or "bad" (negative) messages are sent from brain to rest of your body. There is a complex relationship between mind and body. Physical disorders are caused by your state of mind. What you think can literally make you sick or healthy. The attitude you hold about yourself can give rise to feel- ings of joy, despair, anger, rage, etc. and can even cause heart disease, asthma, and ulcers known as psychosomatic illnesses).