WHEN – “MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS” – DOESN’T WORK!Written by Paul Barratt-Hassett
WHEN – “MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS” – DOESN’T WORK! Category: Life: Relationships. Keywords: Relationship advice, personal values, behavioural model, character types, coaching. Summary: If there is one thing for certain in life, there will always be people we meet who repulse us. Why? Because they are not our attracting character type! Words: 1,180. I’m sure we could all agree that metaphor Men are form Mars and Women are from Venus is a great model for helping with relationship communication. After all it has out sold almost every relationship communication type book ever written. But what happens if this black and white, she says he says type of communication doesn’t work for your relationships? After all in today’s climate this way of thinking offers a limited view when in comes to communicating in relationships. Communication in our modern world. The way we communicate today is becoming more and more complex, we are a far cry from our parents and grand parents situation where father figure earned daily bread and mother figure stayed at home preparing meals, doing cleaning and looking after children. Adding to this complex way of relating are following: A rising number of women in work force who are career orientated (A Mars type quality). An increase in couples who are getting married later in life. (A rise in mature aged singles) More gay relationships developing with-in community. (Mars with Mars - Venusians with Venusians) A new perspective. Vampires, Victims and Sex maniacs is an exciting new universal model that differentiates character types but does not differentiate gender. You have character types that attract and character types that repel. There are three main character types and they are Sex maniacs, Victims and Vampires. Sex maniacs are very reactive people. Their main focus is survival. If they feel threatened they will become very aggressive and do whatever it takes to survive. A sex maniac in a relationship will feel no guilt about having sex with other partners. A couple who engage in a swinger's relationship is a good example of sex maniacs. This is because sex maniacs do not feel jealousy or possessiveness. They live in present. As long as their needs are met they feel no need to control others. Victims see life as a place where people are controlling, aggressive and out to get them. Life seems unfair and, at times, hopeless. They are often sick or in pain, have a lot of health issues and allergies and, in extreme cases, life threatening diseases. Victims will look to others for direction because they always need someone to blame if life turns bad. They constantly attract into their lives circumstances, people and events that victimise them and confirm their insecurities. In relationships victims are often ones who pick partners that cheat. Vampires are controlling, manipulative and domineering. Vampires believe unconsciously or consciously that others need to be controlled. This need to control drives them to manipulate others for purpose of gaining power. In relationships vampires are leaders, decision makers. Vampires are usually very good at covering their tracks. That is, they justify their manipulative ways with quick-thinking jargon, leaving you tongue-tied and confused or frustrated. Although their justifications may make no real sense, you find yourself doing something you didn't really want to do, you are intimidated and you do it to keep peace. Forces beyond love. You could say this attraction and repulsion works like metal being attracted to a magnet or two magnets repelling each other. For example if you were a big magnet (vampire) walking around in domain of life, you would attract into your domain all metal (victims and sex maniacs) floating around you. Alternatively, if you were a big piece of solid metal (victim or sex maniac) living life in your own way, you would find yourself being catalyst of a magnetic (vampire) attracting force. If an individual is expressing as a vampire (power) and controlling others then you could say they are a living magnet. The least resistant response of an individual engaged in this interaction is to respond as either a victim or a sex maniac, thus giving up their energy and, in a sense, becoming metal.
| | Key to Simplicity - The Word 'No'Written by Louise Morganti Kaelin
Once our lives start feeling overwhelmed, we put a lot of time and energy into process of simplifying. Wouldn't it be easier to not fill it up in first place? Learn value of word 'No'!. Some things to say 'No Thanks' to include (but are definitely not limited to!): APPOINTMENTS One of my clients recently told me he wrote word NO in large letters and then highlighted it on every page of his planner. It served as a constant reminder to question why he was scheduling something and made sure only appointments that made sense for him made it in book. NON-ESSENTIAL PURCHASES At least twice. If you are in store and say no twice (two separate visits), but find you still want it, go ahead and buy it with a free conscience. It's probably not something you're going to want to get rid of in 3 months. GET-TOGETHERS WITH FRIENDS IF THE TIME OR ENERGY DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU
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