Visioning Your Future

Written by Joanne Wiley

Tears streamed down my face as I sat onrepparttar side of a raised flower bed in my garden, watchingrepparttar 142534 blue Ford take my partner Nick’s planer and other carpenter tools away. Nick had died 2 months before; it was time to remove some of these remnants that I would not be using. I felt all alone, grieving as those first things were sold.

Forrepparttar 142535 first 3 months after Nick’s death, my grief felt like a red hot brick sitting inrepparttar 142536 middle of my chest. I cried often and atrepparttar 142537 oddest places, like seeing Nick’s friend at a banquet where I was accepting a donation forrepparttar 142538 organization I represented. In most cases, when I felt sadness and tears, I expressed them. Heck, there was no way of holding them back!

After 5 months I felt a weight lifting off me. It felt like I had lifted a very heavy blanket or coat away. I had more energy and felt alive and happy. I started to pay attention torepparttar 142539 details of winding down a business that Nick had run. I considered how to managerepparttar 142540 acreage where we lived including an addition to our house that was only roughed in.

I pondered my future: What now? What was I going to do alone? What did I want? Was this a time to be celibate? I had been studying a yogi who considered celibacy asrepparttar 142541 best route for spiritual and personal growth. As I mulled it over, I realized that I wanted a relationship again.

One Saturday 5 months after Nick’s death, there was a notice pinned torepparttar 142542 corkboard at a restaurant that my girlfriend and I favored, advertising a vision workshop. We decided to go.

There were 12 to14 of us, both men and women. We discussed setting up a vision forrepparttar 142543 things you want in your life and managingrepparttar 142544 fear that surrounds new beginnings (I had an image of transforming my fears from ferocious tigers to tame, meowing pussycats at my feet).

I considered what my beliefs were around relationships: I believed that men and women could have wonderful fulfilling lives in relationships; I believed I could be a good partner.

I felt I had something to give in a relationship, With Nick, I learned a lot about my anger and wanted a relationship where I could do it different, I had seen how it had affected Nick, who was frightened when I became angry. I had had times of great outbursts, and I could see how Nick, not being available emotionally, to discuss my needs had contributed to it. I decided not to feel guilty about how I had acted. I knew I had good communication skills but needed a partner who was willing to listen.

How's Your Empty Nest

Written by Jeanine Herrin

The Kids have all leftrepparttar nest (or just about?),repparttar 142254 house is empty and you’re wondering what you’re going to do with your time now.

Seems like it just “happened” all of a sudden for some while others knewrepparttar 142255 time was near and dreaded whenrepparttar 142256 last child (maybe evenrepparttar 142257 first or perhaps only?) leftrepparttar 142258 nest to head off to college or whatever other plans they may have made.

So many Moms (and yes, Dads too!) have a difficult time adjusting to this time even though you know that this is all part of ‘the plan’ fromrepparttar 142259 time they are born. After all we didrepparttar 142260 same thing didn’t we? Went off to college, got a job and moved out (eventually), or married and started our own life. And yet, it draws near and you find yourself almost in a panic wondering what you are going to do withrepparttar 142261 rest of your life!

You spend so much of your time ‘doing’ forrepparttar 142262 kids fromrepparttar 142263 time they are born; you find your life pretty much revolves around theirs. Even for a lot ofrepparttar 142264 Moms that have worked outsiderepparttar 142265 home for several years, it’s pretty muchrepparttar 142266 same. Get up inrepparttar 142267 morning, get kids up make breakfast, make sure they’re ready for school, go to work only to try and make sure you get off in time to make a ball game or other school activities, (not to mentionrepparttar 142268 times they are home sick from school!) your life is still pretty much revolving aroundrepparttar 142269 kids!

And even though, as mentioned, you know this time is coming, it’s kind of hard to just shut all of this down and go on with what amounts to a “new life”.

But, it’s here and now you have to adjust and deal with it! Much easier said then done for some.

First off do give yourself a BIG pat onrepparttar 142270 back; you deserve it. You have raised a child withrepparttar 142271 confidence to go out and face that ‘big wide world’ and now you need to give yourself some adjusting time. After all it’s almost like a time of “mourning” for some, you feel like you have lost a part of yourself, which, of course, is NOT true. Now isrepparttar 142272 time to find that “Old You” or create a “New You”!

So many think their time as “Mom” is over with, which is also not true. It just revolves into a different phase. You’ll always be their Mom, even though it might feel at times that they are shutting you out. Remember, they are going through their adjusting period too! They settle down after a while, you start adjusting to their being out ofrepparttar 142273 house, then that more “adult” relationship begins which can be very rewarding when you start seeing your ‘child’ becoming an adult.

Meanwhile, it’s time to start thinking of you and what you want to do with this new phase of your life.

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