The other day I was watching Oprah one of my favorite shows for many reasons but, that would be another subject. The topic was unfit mothers. Trust me it was more than evident that some of guests there had some serious issues due to amount of abuse or neglect that they place their children in.
However, there is something that really bothered me, they had numerous recordings of women that called saying that they believed they were unfit mothers because they get angry at their children and feel frustrated at times. Was I hearing right? Give me a break? Are moms not supposed to have feelings? Hmmm! Let me see,
•Once in a while when I am about to finish an article my one year old comes with cheesiest smile and turns off computer. If article is not saved I lose it completely.
•How about you are trying to think straight and you have a toddler screaming mommy, mommy, mommy, I want juice, a toy, food, etc.
• Have you ever finished cleaning and just when you think you can sit down your child spills something in floor?
•Or my all time favorite when ever I take my girls to a special place. I feel that I will be happy by just seeing them have a good time; and what they do? They spend whole time crying and bickering.
Think again! All these things bother me and I say it even if people nod their heads with disbelief and think “what a terrible mom”.
Moms are humans too you know, we have right to feel tired, angry, happy, excited etc. Unlike those 60’s shows were mom was always available and eager to please whole family with a big smile. You want to know what I think? There is no way that a person can focus on everyone else and never do anything to fulfill them selves and be content in life.
So, here is key to being a better mom?
Take care of yourself first! These women that were frustrated are probably too busy trying to be perfect mothers and neglect themselves. Therefore, they probably resent their children and even their partners because they have given up their true identities. Why do I say true identity? Being a mom is only one of many roles that we play in life. Remember who you were before you had children: your hobbies, aspirations, life motto. Who was person that your partner felt in love with? Or friends and family once knew? It is not like you are a computer that once you become a mom your whole Identity gets erased and you automatically become super mom.