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Summary: Most people fail in their careers because of leadership deficiencies. A key reason for their failure is they continually and unknowingly keep falling into two leadership traps. The author describes traps and how to get out of them.
Two Leadership Traps: How To Avoid Them. How To Get Out Of them (Part 2) by Brent Filson
Here's how to get out of, or avoid, "I need ... " trap. It simply involves changing what you think and what you say in very simple ways.
In my working with leaders worldwide for more than two decades, I've noticed a character trait that most successful share: They focus consistently on understanding and supporting people whom they lead.
For instance, you could say, "You need ..." which is a good way out. Or, you could say, "The team needs ... " which is a better way out.
Or, you could say, "Do you need? ..." Which is best way out, especially with a question mark attached. A corollary to this question is, "What do you need from me to help you get team to succeed?"
Asking a question rather than using a declarative is often more effective because it gets people reflecting upon their situation. After all, we can't motivate anyone to do anything. They have to motivate themselves. And they best motivate themselves when they reflect on their character and their situation.
A question can trigger such reflection and ultimately lead to their making choice to be motivated to be your cause leader. You may not like answer; but often their answer, no matter what it is, can better lead to more results being achieved than your declaration can.
Furthermore, asking questions like, "What do you need for team to succeed? ..." works much better than saying "I need ... " because you are forging a "critical confluence" – confluence of your or your organization's needs with their needs.