Twelve Principles for Developing Positive RelationshipsWritten by Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW
PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to author, and it appears with included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required. Email him at eagibbs@ureach.comEstablishing meaningful, loving, supportive, and cooperative relationships is not difficult to do. Like anything else worthwhile, it warrants our attention to details, mainly our concern for our colleagues. To set you on right road of redefining your relationships, in helping you to make yours more positive, here are 12 principles of human behavior to consider: 1. Building positive relationships is like building a house; it takes time and patience. 2. Applying Christian principle of agape, brotherly love, allows others to become more responsible and more capable. 3. Because agape is based on equality and mutual respect, it permits people to make choices. 4. Every human behavior has a social purpose. When people misbehave, they do so because they are pursuing their goal of attention, revenge, power, or manipulation.
| | How to overcome co-dependency and live a fulfilled lifeWritten by Ulla Sebastian
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication, blog, RSS feed or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: How to overcome co-dependency and live a fulfilled life Author: Dr. Ulla Sebastian E-mail: publish@visioform.com Copyright: © 2004 by Ulla Sebastian Web Address: http://www.visioform.com Word Count: 890 Category: Self Empowerment CO-DEPENDENCY REFERS TO AN OBSESSIVE NEED FOR AFFECTION, ATTENTION AND AFFIRMATION. Co-dependent people get easily drawn into pain and problems of others, feel responsible to help people solve their problems while ignoring their own, look outside themselves for meaning, identity and value, say yes when they mean no and tend to blame others for their own unhappiness, failures and frustrations. CO-DEPENDENCY IS AS MUCH A CULTURAL AS A PERSONAL PHENOMENON. Through childhood and adolescence, movies and hit parades feed us co-dependent relationship ideals as romantic love, Christian ideals as service and care for others, cultural ideals as being a good mother, a caring wife or just a “good” person that cares for other people's needs more than for one’s own. If you as a woman wonder about difference between being 'good' or co-dependent check degree of involvement and amount of pain you feel. Ask yourself: * Do I always "have to do something" to help my partner? * Do I feel burdened by problems of my partner? Would I like to leave him and yet I do not dare to? * Am I holding on to my partner even if he has repeated affairs or abandons me while "working at office"? Most people fall into a continuum of co-dependency. If you are still wondering, keep checking: * Do I feel responsible to help people solve their problems while ignoring my own? * Do I look outside myself for meaning, identity and value? * Do I say yes when I mean no? * Do I tend to blame others for my unhappiness, failures and frustrations? If you answer 'yes' to most of those questions, co-dependency is an issue. CO-DEPENDENCY HAPPENS IN RELATIONSHIPS Codependent relationships are predominantly domain of women who are engaging in personal relationships with someone who needs help and support. They offer themselves as 'helpers' and 'saviours' and turn into angry persecutors if their attempt to save 'other' fails, which is usually case. This dynamic in co-dependent relationships has been described as drama triangle being played by two people who change roles of victim, saviour and persecutor. The term co-dependent relationship was traditionally used for an alcoholic and his or her partner but has lately been applied to a broad range of people who need help such as drug users, criminals, sex addicts, mentally ill, physically ill, and even workaholics who need someone to support them while they "do their thing."
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