1.Model emotional intelligence yourself

Yes, your kids are watching very closely. They see how you respond to frustration, they see how resilient you are, and they see whether you’re aware of your own feelings and feelings of others.

2.Be willing to say “no” to your kids

There’s a lot of stuff out there for kids. And your kids will ask for a lot of it. Saying no will give your kids an opportunity to deal with disappointment and to learn impulse control. To a certain degree, your job as a parent is to allow your kids to be frustrated and to work through it. Kids who always get what they want typically aren’t very happy.

3.Be aware of your parental “hotspots”

Know what your issues are—what makes you come unglued and what’s this really about? Is it not being in control? Not being respected? Underneath these issues lies a fear about something. Get to know what your fear is so you’re less likely to come unglued when you’re with your kids. Knowing your issues doesn’t make them go away, it just makes it easier to plan for and to deal with.

4.Practice and hone your skills at being non-judgmental

Start labeling feelings and avoid name-calling. Say, “he seems angry,” rather than, “what a jerk.” When your kids are whiny or crying, saying things like, “you seem sad,” will always be better than just asking them to stop. Depriving kids of feelings they’re experiencing will only drive them underground and make them stronger.

5.Start coaching your kids

Some do not believe they are really an addict or alcoholic. They may convince themselves that they don't drink or use very much or that often. The truth, if you are not capable of quitting during a time in your life when it is most essential that you do not drink or use, you are an addict. If you were not addicted quitting during pregnancy would not be difficult.

Many women falsely believe that an occasional drink or drug use is not really harmful. They may minimize their problem and rationalize what they are doing. They may say things like well when my mother was pregnant she drank/smoke and I turned out fine.

Sometimes a woman may convince herself that she is done and it won't happen again. Perhaps she has used during first month but she will tell herself, I will get help if I do this again. With next time it happening repeating same rational in her mind, each time thinking it is last.

Addiction is a shameful disease. Addicts come in all forms. People with addiction can hide their disease very well. Their friends and family may not even realize that they have a problem. Talking to a health professional about this may be something they are too afraid to do.