We hear stories daily about individuals or organizations that thrive during bull market, slip in bear market when stocks drop, and end up bankrupt. Others suffer a loss, but plan for a turnaround and don’t experience devastation.

How do they weather bear market? They manage their portfolio wisely.

Close, personal relationships can follow a similar path. Many start out in a bull market, slide into a bear market, and then go bankrupt. Like investors, you can weather your relationship ups and downs if you manage your relationship portfolio wisely. Apply these ten rules of wise investing and avoid relationship bankruptcy.

1.LIST ASSETS AND LIABILITIES

If you want great relationships, first know who you are and what you want. What are your values, beliefs. If you do not know what you believe, you may get off track.

2.DETERMINE GOALS.

Where are you and where do you want to go? What are your personal and relational goals now, and in future? If you do not know what you want over long term, you may get off track.

3.READ THE PROSPECTUS.

4.DECIDE WHICH INVESTMENT BEST FITS YOUR GOALS.

With investments you consider whether you want short term, long term, high risk, or low risk investments. You decide whether you can reach your goals with stocks, mutual funds, or money market accounts.

What do you need, want, and require in a close relationship? What kind of relationships will support your life goals? Imagine you love country and want a cabin in woods some day. You invite loss of your dreams if you continue to invest emotionally in someone who loves city lights and hates bugs!

Where will you find compatible relationships or life partner who shares your wishes, hopes and dreams? Probably not in local bar, unless that is your life goal. Do what you love to do, and find friendships in those places.

5. DON’T THROW GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD.

If it drops 8% or more sell.

Can you think of a word or phrase that irritates you? Possibly when your teenager rolls his or her eyes and says, “Whateevverr.” For me it is this phrase. “IT’S NOT THAT BAD YET.” Have you ever thought like this or do you know anyone who does?

I will give you an example. A person might say, “I am really worried about my 14 year old. He comes home intoxicated two or three times a week and I am sure he smokes pot.” I ask if they have him in counseling. They say, “Oh no, it’s not that bad YET.” Or someone says, “My marriage is going to pot. We fight all time and I don’t know what to do.” I ask, “Have you thought of marriage counseling?” “Oh no, it’s not THAT bad yet.”

This phrase keeps people stuck in miserable jobs, unfulfilling lives and eroding relationships. It is reason people become more stressed, more depressed, more sick. It is reason we have a 50 percent divorce rate. It tricks us into thinking we do not have to DO anything YET. We continue to tolerate intolerable, and to wait for a miracle. What exactly do we mean when we say this?

IT’S not that bad yet.

What exactly is not that bad? Your life? Your life isn’t that bad yet? That sure sounds like a life to jump out of bed full of energy for every day. Your marriage isn’t that bad yet? Is that kind of marriage you went looking for? Is that kind you want to keep? Or is it fighting, drinking or stress on job not that bad yet?

It’s not THAT BAD yet.

How bad is THAT BAD? How will you know when it is THAT BAD? If you wait, will it be too late to do anything about it? Imagine how you would feel if you went to doctor with migraine headaches. He calls you back in a couple days and tells you they found something on x-rays. They don’t know what it is, but don’t worry, it’s not THAT BAD yet.

Or consider this. You see a few bugs around house. You call in Orkin man. He looks around and then tells you that he found evidence of termites. They have quite an appetite, those little critters. Munch, munch, munch. Call him next year. It’s not THAT BAD yet.

It’s not that bad YET.