Top 10 Ways To Irritate Your Visitors Written by David Bell
Let's face it. It is really hard to come up with new ways to fully irritate visitors to your site. I thought I would share some ways that I have found to irritate visitors and drive them away, thereby saving you money on your hosting bills. These tips are not in order according to their effectiveness, however #1 is by far most effective. For 100% effectiveness, use any three of these techniques. 1. Install a script to disable everyone's right mouse click button. When someone tries to right-click, be sure to pop up a really insulting warning that accuses them of trying to steal your secret HTML code. Disabling right click button will allow you to: - Keep visitor from bookmarking your site - Keep visitor from using forward and back browser functions - Keep visitor from opening your links in a new window - Keep visitor from stopping a slow loading or hung page - Keep visitor from using Reload function to correct a display problem - Keep visitor from printing your secret content - Keep visitor from using such illegal tools as Google site information tool Admittedly visitors can do all of these things with buttons at top of browser, but maybe they won't know that and simply go away as you intended when you disabled their dangerous right-click button. 2. Create a really long page then starts playing your favorite song and put stop and volume controls at very bottom of page. This will make sure they do one of following: - Listen to entire song all way through 5 times while reading your content, which proves them worthy of experiencing your site - Try desperately to find Stop button - Go somewhere else to stop song from playing. 3. Decide in advance what screen resolution your visitors must use in order to see your pages. It is absolutely a great way to drive them off when they have to scroll from side to side to read sentences of information. You can make this 100% effective by making your pages so wide that no monitor can display it. 4. The really professional irritator will not settle for just one obscure browser plug-in. Go for gold. Use several bloated plug-ins that no one has already installed. This should drive away all newbies because they usually have no idea how to install even one plug-in, much less three. Experienced surfers will be glad to spend 20 minutes installing plug-ins to view your unique content. 5. When visitor arrives at your site, be sure to pop up at least two ads behind their browser window and a minimum of two ads in front of their window. This will give them lots of options in where to go now that they have been sufficiently irritated to desire to leave right away. Even more important is way you treat occasional hard case that actually stays on your site after all of your efforts. When they leave, remind them to never return. Start popping up windows all over their monitor with windows that multiply every time they try to close them.
| | E-mail VS The WebWritten by David Bell
What Works Best for Selling Online? Email or Web Pages? Good question right? I always thought so! That is until I went through my little learning curve. I can save you from same lessons if you have a few moments... You see, I do a ton of classified advertising on net. I utilize ezines, AOL, newsgroups (carefully thru my sig), and many web sites. I also use targeted direct email although I'm extremely picky in this area. So why is it that all everyone talks about is banner ads? Click thrus, CPM, page impressions, etc., . How about folks like me that can't afford to slam down a few thousand bucks each month to have my banner pop up on Yahoo every time someone types "Internet Marketing". Now don't get me wrong here, banners are great and I rely on banners to drive traffic to my site too. But fact is, a large part of my marketing campaign revolves around simple effective classifieds and I am not alone. It's cheap and it works. That's why I've decided to pass along results of my "research" as I like to call it. (Learning curve is a little more honest!) My question was this: Should I be using my URL, or my email address when advertising with classifieds and direct email? Before my web site existed it was pretty much a no brainer. I used my email address in my classifieds until I smartened up and got some autoresponders. AR's made much more sense for two simple reasons: They allowed me to do MUCH less work and my prospects received my sales letters almost instantly, which always results in more profits. Then I finally migrated to World Wide Web and had a URL to use in my classifieds. I immediately "upgraded" my ads to allow people to find my new web site. (Maybe I was a little too proud of it!) I figured why bother with autoresponders any longer when I could show them color, sound, and graphics.
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