Top 10 Signs That You Have An Anger Problem

Written by Newton Hightower

Word wrap to 60, (145 words) *********************************************

1. You display your middle finger onrepparttar dashboard before you startrepparttar 118266 car.

2. There are more holes inrepparttar 118267 walls of your house than there are craters onrepparttar 118268 moon.

3. You thoughtrepparttar 118269 movie “Natural Born Killers” was a documentary.

4. You joinedrepparttar 118270 Beer & Gun Club.

5. Your definition of Anger Management is managing to programrepparttar 118271 VCR without throwing it acrossrepparttar 118272 room first.

What?!? No bananas?

Written by David Leonhardt

"Where are your bananas?" It seemed like a logical question to ask. For all of my forty trips aroundrepparttar sun, bananas were a key item to place inrepparttar 118265 grocery cart. Forrepparttar 118266 first time I could recall,repparttar 118267 banana bin was empty. So I asked a store worker whererepparttar 118268 bananas were.

"We don't have any," he replied. "We'll be getting some in tomorrow."

It took me a few moments to absorb this information. "What do you mean you don't have any?" I thought. "Every store has bananas." True, sometimes they are almost green enough to pass for bent cucumbers. And they occasionally appear to have lost an arm-wrestling match with a watermelon. But there are always bananas of some sort inrepparttar 118269 store.

Then it dawned on me just how foolish my expectations were. I live well north of New York City. Even if somebody invented a way to cultivate them inrepparttar 118270 Great White North, it was early April, and they would not bear fruit at that time of year. For goodness sake, outsiderepparttar 118271 snow was falling and inside I was expecting tropical bananas!

If you commute in a big city, you might have noticed traffic grinding to a halt. Why? Look to bananas forrepparttar 118272 answer. Just as I was frustrated by my grocery expectations not being met, millions of commuters are frustrated daily by their traffic expectations not being met.

Consider some ofrepparttar 118273 major machines in your life, such as television. Twenty years ago, we would watch a TV show. Ads would come and ads would go, but we would watch it from start to finish. Who does that these days?

"What were you watching, honey?"

"I dunno. But I think I caught 412 channels."

And if ever you should loserepparttar 118274 converter ... I know, I know, this is a family publication, so we'll cutrepparttar 118275 profanity.

Cont'd on page 2 ==> © 2005
Terms of Use