Top 10 Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. Bush

Written by Peggy Butler

Ten Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. Bush

A satirical and humorous look atrepparttar man conservatives dub one ofrepparttar 118172 greatest chief executives to occupyrepparttar 118173 White House

10. Great Articulation. During his press conferences I’ve yet to hearrepparttar 118174 president mispronounce a word or desecraterepparttar 118175 English language. Moreover, I’ve never heard him utter anything of a moronic nature. Well, except forrepparttar 118176 time when he said "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” And lets not forget he also stated, “I am honored to shakerepparttar 118177 hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.” On second thought, it’s clear that we have to deviate fromrepparttar 118178 articulate angle. What a pity!

9. He is so charismatic. Whenever I seerepparttar 118179 president, visions of Howdy Doody spring to mind. For those 30 and under, Howdy Doody isrepparttar 118180 puppet from a 1950s children’s TV show. And just like Howdy, Bush too has an exaggerated smile. Another similarityrepparttar 118181 two share is that they’re both stiff as a board. Which explains whyrepparttar 118182 president’s decision to invade Iraq was equivalent to that of a puppet on a string.

8. His patriotism. Unlike many young men who opted not to go to Vietnam, Bush served his country by enrolling inrepparttar 118183 National Guard. And as soon as those military records are found, just likerepparttar 118184 weapons of mass destruction he adamantly refers to, everyone will appreciate this man’s love for his country. What a man, What a man!

7. He always tellsrepparttar 118185 truth. That’s right our president is so honest you can believe everything he says and then some. And for anyone who disagrees with him, they’re depicted as "lip scrunching, jaw-jerking, anti-patriotic liberals.” Case in point: If Bush says John Kerry is too progressive to be elected president, it’s probably true. After all this isrepparttar 118186 man who told us umpteenth times that Saddam Hussein has ties to Al-Qaeda. And on that note I can honestly say, Dubya gives new meaning torepparttar 118187 phrase TALKING LOUD AND SAYING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

6. His sense of humor. For instance, wheneverrepparttar 118188 president comes on my TV screen I automatically burst into laughter. Yeah, that silly grin and lumbering walk gets me every time. Perhaps if he stopped flashing that bogus smilerepparttar 118189 laughter would stop. Or perhaps not.


Written by James L. Snyder

In reviewing my schedule last week, I noticed one glaring omission. Atrepparttar moment I was rather shocked at this lapse, however, I took some comfort inrepparttar 118171 fact it was not intentional.

The lapse in our week was a romantic evening just forrepparttar 118172 two of us. Everyone knows a week without romance can be a dull week. As a general practice,repparttar 118173 Gracious Mistress ofrepparttar 118174 Parsonage and Yours Truly try to set aside some time, be it ever so small, for some level of romantic interlude. There are time, however, when due to a demanding schedule a week will slip through our mutual intention.

Immediately we set out to clear our schedule, a Herculean task to be sure, and set aside Thursday evening as our romantic hiatus atrepparttar 118175 parsonage. Because I had a few days notice, I decided to surpriserepparttar 118176 Gracious Mistress ofrepparttar 118177 Parsonage with her favorite ice cream cake.

Late Thursday afternoon I picked uprepparttar 118178 ice cream cake specially decorated forrepparttar 118179 occasion. I was looking forward to a special, relaxing evening atrepparttar 118180 parsonage.

Just as I drove out ofrepparttar 118181 bakery parking lot, my cell phone rang. My wife informed me that Philip had been rushed torepparttar 118182 hospital emergency room, she had no further details. I looked at my watch and calculated that it would take 15 minutes to drive torepparttar 118183 hospital, 10 minutes with Philip and another 15 minutes to return home. It was 4:45 and I could be home before 6:00.

Hanging uprepparttar 118184 phone, I turned my car towardrepparttar 118185 hospital. Driving out ofrepparttar 118186 parking lot, I had a nagging feeling I was forgetting something. I mentally reviewed my “to-do-list” and could not find a single omission. And yet, there was something I should be doing but forrepparttar 118187 life of me, I could not put my finger on it. Pulling intorepparttar 118188 hospital parking lot, I put that nagging thought out of my head and focused onrepparttar 118189 more important work lying before me.

When I got torepparttar 118190 hospital, I went straight torepparttar 118191 ER and inquired about Philip.

“Yes, Philip,”repparttar 118192 nurse quipped, “is in room 15.”

Knowingrepparttar 118193 drill, I went to room 15 and to my dismay, it was empty.

“Oh, Philip,” another nurse said “has been sent up to room 318.”

I threw a “thank you, ma’m” at her and headed forrepparttar 118194 elevator.

By this time, I was so occupied with thoughts about Philip I temporarily forgot about our plans forrepparttar 118195 evening back atrepparttar 118196 parsonage. I walked into room 318 and discovered that either Philip had a sex-change operation or,repparttar 118197 person snuggled down inrepparttar 118198 bed in room 318 was not Philip. I latched on torepparttar 118199 second thought and headed forrepparttar 118200 nurse’s station.

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