To Contact or NotWritten by Jennifer Lester
Dear Jen,I went on my first date with Sean* whom I met online. I thought we both had a great time on our date. At end of night, he kissed my cheek and said he would call. Now it has been a week and I have not heard a word from him. (I even considered checking with my phone company to see if there had been a problem on my line.) I thought about calling him, but was worried that it would seem too pushy or eager. What are your thoughts on sending a friendly little email? Should I try it, or should I just sit tight and keep waiting for him to call me? Your Friend, Julie Dear Julie*, There are two reasons he may not have called. He may be busy, or he may not be interested. If he has been busy, but thought to call later in week, he might be a little afraid to since he may be worried that he has hurt you by not calling sooner. This can keep him from calling you at all. A quick contact from you can let him know door is still open for him if he wants to walk through. On other hand, if he is not interested, at least with an email he can just delete it without a lot of guilt and you will be saved from hearing that tone of annoyance in his voice.
| | OvereagerWritten by Jennifer Lester
Dear Jen,It has been over two years since I had a man in my life. Finally, I have met a man named John* that I really like. I am just afraid that I am going to scare him away by being overeager. We met online and talked for two weeks before we finally met. Now, we have been on only two dates, but I can’t seem to get my mind off of him. I feel almost obsessed and am afraid he is going to see it too and be scared away. What can I do to calm myself down and get a better perspective on situation. Sincerely, Kristin* Dear Kristin*, You are not alone. I think many of us (especially females) have found ourselves in same situation at one time or another. You are right, however, to realize that this could scare John* away. Nothing seems to turn guys off faster then a woman who seems to worship him right off bat. They start to wonder if there is something wrong with this woman since she can’t seem to see any of flaws he knows he has. Act friendly towards him, even affectionate within reason for this stage in your relationship. Unless he is a completely blind idiot, he will know you are interested. Do not make yourself too available or he is going to think you have no life. No reason to lie to him here, you just have to get yourself up off your couch and get a hobby, go to gym, go out with your girlfriends, or spend time with family. Not only will this make you more attractive to him because you appear to have a life, but these activities will also help you get your mind off of him so that you do not obsess. By all means, do not start to talk commitment with this man yet, it is too early in your budding relationship and “c” word is one of scariest words in English language for most men. You shouldn’t go that route until he uses other scary word (love) with you first.
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