We’re all a little weary of classifications, but let’s throw one out that works as well as any of them do. Most of us have an UNfavorite emotion, and we fall into two camps – those who can deal with anger, but not tenderness; and those who can deal with tenderness, but not anger.

For those people who are into anger, it’s all-purpose emotion. This was often case with males in Silent Generation and Baby Boomers. Conditioned not to show ‘weakness,’ they learned emotion they could show and still appear manly – anger.

Now here’s thing about anger. It’s always justified, always harmful, and never a reason to do something in itself. This is a complex set of emotions to deal with. In coaching Emotional Intelligence, I have worked through this with many a client. We think Emotional Intelligence (EQ) – understanding and managing your emotions (among other things) – is now new Holy Grail. That if we master EQ, we can finally be “happy,” which for most of us, at least initially, means not having to experience those nasty emotions – fear, anger, jealousy, inappropriate sexual impulses, and disgust.

However, our emotions are our guides, and all these so-called “negative” emotions come from our most primitive brain – reptilian brain. They are lean and mean all right, and extremely powerful to experience, because they’re there to keep us alive. We had to experience disgust (you can almost feel your esophagus and stomach preparing to hurl as you gag, curl your lip back, flinch and whatever) because it kept us alive. We had to recognize, for instance, rotten meat.

Now let’s go with this emotion, disgust. It’s almost an instinctive reaction. Let’s go with it because it’s as difficult to deal with as any of them.

In modern day life, things we have an automatic disgust reaction to, may seem inappropriate to us, or what’s called in psychology, ego-dystonic. In other words, we feel it and at same time feel we SHOULDN’T be feeling it.

It’s hard to even write this, but here I go, into my own personal ego-dystonic land. If I walk into someone’s house and it’s a “pig sty” to my way of thinking, and I’m disgusted, I immediately start slapping myself around because … she can’t help it, she’s got 4 kids under age of 6; or I’ve got a maid and she doesn’t, so what right do I have to criticize; or, I’m thinking, maybe I’m being perfectionist-in-recovery I’m capable of being, and I criticize myself for my unrealistic and overly-demanding standards.

But my self-criticism doesn’t change fact that house is disgusting. It goes on and on, as I quarrel among my brains. The primitive one smells cat urine in living room carpet, dirty diapers in garbage pail, and stale cooking odors, and sees spilled milk curdling on kitchen floor … while my limbic brain is telling me to be nice to people, or that people won’t like me if I’m critical (and of course everyone MUST “like me”); be compassionate and understanding; and my neocortex is telling me it’s not right to judge other people.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The sun creeps above eastern horizon, and shoots its long red beams across a frozen lake. The ice suddenly dances with a fiery radiance, and paints snow-covered morning with momentary brilliance. Within minutes splendor lessens, and light is more balanced. The landscape appears less dramatic, yet it is merely in a another state of perfection.

Life requires opposites, dark and light, day and night, stillness and motion, brilliance and obscurity. Perfection continuously moves in and out of balance. We usually have preferences for one end or other. Yet Creator allows us entire range of experience, complete "light show."