When it’s all rumbling around in your head and you can’t take action, you can get a case of nerves. What to do? Let’s apply some EQ (emotional intelligence)!

EMOTIONS

Sort through emotions to get them organized and under management. Knowledge is power!

Figure out different things you’re feeling, label them, and identify their source. Then take a piece of paper and draw a line down middle.

On one side write “I can do something about this” and on other write, “I can’t do anything about this.” Proceed to make a list under each column. Then you know drill: Do what you can about those you can address, and modify your response to those you can’t.

Here are three examples:

1.You’re nervous about doing a great Thanksgiving celebration. This is normal. Getting “up” for things gives us extra energy to carry them off. It’s just you don’t want it to get out-of-hand. If you assume there’s something wrong with feeling this way because cool people don’t, number one, you’re wrong, and number two, you’re giving it too much power. Get it in perspective and on a leash because after a certain point it isn’t helpful.

2.You’re nervous Aunt Betty will pick a fight with your sister again. There’s nothing you can do about that except manage your response. It isn’t something you’re responsible for, which everyone knows, and you needn’t let it ruin occasion for you. If it helps, consider some ways of dealing with it. Here are three: ignoring it and directing conversation elsewhere; distracting one of them (ask them a question) or both of them (drop a platter loudly in kitchen); or asking them to take it outside so rest of you can enjoy day. 3.You’re nervous you’ll burn turkey. To solve this, get information. Read a cookbook, call your mom, get on Internet and research. Make sure you have a good timer, which could actually be your partner!

Monitor your self-talk by reminding yourself how generally competent you are. Then start making lists and getting organized. Worrying doesn’t help. Information and taking action do.

NEXT STEP – ORGANIZE

Get those random thoughts on paper. Make a list with following headings:

Invitations and RSVPs Guests’ Special Needs Menu Seating Decorations Shopping Cooking Cleaning house Help

It’s time to firm up who’s coming so you’ll have a count for seating, food, etc. As you confirm their attendance, ask about special needs.

Under each category write down what needs to be done. Then move what you can do NOW to another list and get started. No need to wait!

Here are some examples to jog your thinking.

HOUSECLEANING

Now’s time to decorate, clean oven and refrigerator, polish silver, wash windows and table linens, and prepare appearance of guest bath. You want to save only touch-up for last minute – redoing floors, a quick vacuum, and a little dusting.

If you’re planning to have a cleaning service come, book them immediately. They get busy.

MENU

•Watch parade on TV or make an effort to attend parade. Don’t forget a thermos of hot chocolate

•Family Portrait Time--use this picture for Christmas cards

•Decorate with: gourds, indian corn, corn stalks, pine cones, fall leaves, cornucopia, a large pine cone turkey with feathers

•As family gathers, this is an excellent time for making a personal history video helping to connect generations. Ask questions such as: