In marriage, when an argument is about to blow up, remember that takes 2 hands to clap. When one party is angry, other should be understanding and not argue back. The calmer party should try to listen cry, hurt behind upset.

Marriage is a life long journey together. Not simply a boat you get on together and get off when it does not work out.

Look at old couples who are still together after so many decades. Their love has matured from a passionate lust to a deep, lasting love. How did they do it?

"How do you tell legitimate hope from unfounded hope? By looking carefully at facts" -- DR. HOWARD HALPERN .......................................

If you were asked to mention qualities you want in a mate, no doubt you will list all wonderful human qualities on earth. Perhaps you will not forget to mention that you will like your mate to be loving and caring. Well, that is good.

But you start wrong way. You should have started by asking yourself if you possess those "angelic" qualities in your master list. For example, ask yourself, Am I loving and caring?

You see, everyone looks for different qualities in a mate. For instance, what appeals to me, may not appeal to you. No wonder it is said that what is one man's meat is another man's poison.

This reminds me of one beautiful lady who loved Socrates Greek philosopher for his intelligence, and asked for his hand in marriage. She reasoned that they would make excellent children. Because their children would combine her beauty with Socrates' intelligence.

But beautiful lady, a dullard who could not add one and one, forgot something which ugly Socrates reminded her. "What if our children combine your empty brain with my ugly face?" he asked. And that ended it.

So, it means that we should look for a rounded mate. One quality alone is not enough. And we too should posses qualities that our mate should look at and admire. But what questions should you first ask yourself?

Am I willing to make a life long commitment to my partner? Matthew 19: 6

You don't marry today with view to divorcing tomorrow, if things don't go your way. Marriage is a life long commitment. God hates those who abandon their mates. -- Malachi 2: 13-16.

Am I now physically mature to make sound judgment? -- 1 Corinthians 7: 36

Picture teenage couples in a matrimonial wedlock. These ones are still going through changes in their life. Lack of any life experience, coupled with strong sexual desires incidental to their age, will distort their thinking and judgment.

Do I have traits that will help me to contribute to a successful marriage? -- Galatians 5: 22, 23.

You should try to cultivate those qualities that you want of your marriage mate. Compatibility is word. But know that even twins are not exactly identical. So don't even think of marrying a relative in order to make best out of marriage. And don't think you can change anyone. That is wishful thinking. Try changing yourself first!

Do I have maturity to support a male in difficult times? -- Galatians 6: 2.

It is not time to play blame game when problems arise. You will agree that we live in difficult times, and this calls for maturity in handling issues. That is why you are two. -- Ecclesiastes 4: 9, 10.

Am I a cheerful and optimistic person? -- Proverbs 15: 15