Time Management: Which Advice to Follow?

Written by Charlotte Burton

There are so many books on Time Management published every month that it is difficult to findrepparttar time to read and digest them all. What happens to most people is that they buy a book on time management, read it, decide that some parts of it may suit them, but then fail to adequately integraterepparttar 138681 system into their lives. This is partly due to inadequacies inrepparttar 138682 system itself, and partly due torepparttar 138683 inherently difficult nature of learning a new system -repparttar 138684 equivalent to learning a new habit. Whatrepparttar 138685 books don't tell you is that each different time management system is not necessarily suitable to all people or for all uses for which people need them. Findingrepparttar 138686 right combination ofrepparttar 138687 basic methods is entirely individual depending on bothrepparttar 138688 nature ofrepparttar 138689 tasks that are required to be done andrepparttar 138690 nature ofrepparttar 138691 individual who is implementingrepparttar 138692 strategy.

This is where an overview ofrepparttar 138693 basic systems is useful. There are few books that give such an overview, but one that does is Get everything done and still have time to play by Mark Forster. After outliningrepparttar 138694 basic methods, he goes on to describe one system that may be useful to some - but is rather complicated and which would not suit everyone.

Basic Time Management Systems

1. To-Do Lists - write a list of things that need to be done and then do them in that order. They can be distinguished from Checklists that are wonderful for breaking a project down into smaller tasks that can be ticked off regularly (which boosts motivation). Pros: can be used for many different types of tasks Cons: not useful if you have a schedule to keep to; can proliferate rapidly causing overwhelm

2. Prioritisation. This is pretty simple - you write downrepparttar 138695 list of things you have to do and then put them in order of priority. Then you do them in that order. Pros: very good for office tasks, home chores, emergencies Cons: can become cluttered and disorganised unless you make separate lists for different projects

3. "Do it now". A favourite with people who handle a lot of paper - this is basically a preventative measure for procrastination. If you need to do action something, you do it now. Pros: Very good for procrastinators, and also for spring cleaning (of bothrepparttar 138696 office in tray or your home), routines and tasks which are vital for function (e.g. fillingrepparttar 138697 car with petrol) Cons: Not useful for a multi-faceted life where there are a lot of different aspects which need equal attention, as here you can end up spending all your time on one area as you have to "do it now"!

4. "Dorepparttar 138698 thing you fear most first". A form of prioritisation, this is also good for procrastinators as it has a great kernel of truth in it, in terms ofrepparttar 138699 fact that oncerepparttar 138700 most-feared thing is done,repparttar 138701 rest will be easier in comparison. Pros: Good for personal growth and conquering fears Cons: can mean that NOTHING gets done ifrepparttar 138702 fear ofrepparttar 138703 first thing is very strong.

5. Scheduling. Again, pretty simple - you put things in your list with times attached and then you action them according torepparttar 138704 time. Pros: actions where other people are involved such as meetings, or picking uprepparttar 138705 children. Cons: Can be difficult to estimaterepparttar 138706 exact length of time something will take, and doesn't take interruptions, delays and other unexpected issues into account.

While all of these are very useful in particular situations, and for particular people, they often work best in conjunction with each other. Individual tools just don't work on a consistent basis. If they did, time management books would not be commissioned any more.

The Human Variable - Attention

So why are these tools not working? There is something which underliesrepparttar 138707 whole issue of time management which makes any solution you applyrepparttar 138708 equivalent of a plaster on an otherwise untreated wound. Time is notrepparttar 138709 variable here - there isrepparttar 138710 same 24 hours in every single day. Human attention isrepparttar 138711 vital variable - focussed attention gets things done, while distractions and poor organisation fragment attention so that tasks do not get done. Remember days where a lot gets done, and remember days when you just couldn't concentrate on any single thing long enough to get it completed? This is down to your attention span. It changes from person to person, but research shows thatrepparttar 138712 average person can concentrate fully for about 20 minutes at a time, beforerepparttar 138713 attention starts wandering.

Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Megan askedrepparttar following questions in one of our phone sessions: “Over and over, when I’m really attracted to a man and I sleep with him fairly early inrepparttar 138642 relationship, I discover that he is not good husband material. What am I doing wrong? Am I just attracted torepparttar 138643 wrong kind of men?”

This is a frequent question from my single women clients.

“Megan, many men know how to project sexual energy in a way that arouses women. These men define their worth by their sexuality and by their ability to attract woman. They know just how to sexually ignite a woman - it’s an energy that they are putting out that goes right into your genitals and makes you think that something real and important is happening. But they are operating from a sexual addiction rather than from caring or intimacy.”

“So what should I be doing when I feel that powerful sexual attraction?”

“You need to be telling yourself that this feeling doesn’t mean anything – that it’s just an energy that is being projected onto you but has nothing to do with love, intimacy, caring, or marriage. Real, long-lasting relationships take time to evolve. If you feel sexual upon first meeting someone, there is a good possibility that this man just wants a sexual encounter with you rather than a real relationship with you. My suggestion to you is to not have sex early in a relationship, even if you are very attracted.”

“Well, when do you have sex?”

“When you feel emotionally intimate. When you trust each other and really care about each other’s wellbeing. When you know thatrepparttar 138644 feelings are not just sexual, and thatrepparttar 138645 sexuality is coming fromrepparttar 138646 emotional intimacy rather than from a sexual addiction. Why not wait until there is a commitment torepparttar 138647 relationship and to learning and growing with each other? How often have you slept with a man that you were really attracted to and then hadrepparttar 138648 relationship not work out?”

“More often than I’m willing to admit. This is what keeps happening. So are you saying that I should also go out with men that I’m not immediately attracted to?”

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