I was issued with a wreck removal notice on Christmas Eve also. I felt a wreck, that much is true. I’d been at that vodka night before, one that had made local papers because it was dangerously wrong, overly strong and should you have any in house, to take it straight back for a product recall scenario. Hmm …

So there’s me sorting out tree, with kids belting around house and this letter of eviction comes through door saying:

“I am sorry to have to inform you that landlord has decided to sell property in spring and therefore will not be renewing your tenancy at end of initial six-month period.”

The letter went on, apologetically as waves broke over my upturned bow… I never could wrap presents. That one about bow was tenuous, I’ll grant you. Still, let’s press on, eh?

The top article had a title like Pentagon Spending Under Review. The story had something to do with hammers, toilet seats and coffee makers, or something like that.

Further down on page, a headline caught my attention. I think it read Homeless Population Rises. What followed was frightening.

At very bottom of page was this tiny little advertisement for Tool Liquidators, Home of Ninety-nine Cent Hammer!. Well, it all fell into place after that. I paged waitress for some more coffee and figured this out.