Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told how one year ago - her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as result of a medical error at hospital in which she was delivered.

Elizabeth had a legitimate grievance toward hospital and medical staff, and felt that she could never forgive them for what she saw as theri incompetence. She clearly was not yet ready to forgive. She felt she needed her simmering anger to motiviate her to do what she felt she needed to do legally and otherwise to deal with this horrific situation.

Yet, at some point in future - when she is ready - Elizabeth might decide to find a way to forgive. To be able to do this, she will have to take step of separating two things in her mind: (1) blaming hospital for what they did and (2) blaming them for her resulting feelings about situation.

Reasons to forgive

Elizabeth cannot change what was done to her daughter, but she can change how she lives rest of her life. If she continues to hold an intense grievance, she is giving what happened in past power to determine her present emotional well being. Until she forgives, Elizabeth will be victimized over and over again, trapped in an emotional prison.

Should you forgive?

The answer to this question always comes down to personal choices and decisions. Some people in our anger management classes feel that certain things cannot and shouldn't be forgiven; others feel that ultimately anything can be forgiven.

At times we say to ourselves ‘I must concentrate to finish this job’, we know there are many times and situations within our daily life where it is necessary to concentrate to complete job in hand. But how many of us really know how to concentrate, how to shutout all distractions around us, how to be consciously aware of task in front of us. The psychologists suggest that a man thinks of sex once every 30 seconds, which means of course he can concentrate on little else. And it is also a fact that when we do concentrate it is quite often on a subject that is no good for us and has no lasting benefits.

Yet we all instinctively know that if we are able to concentrate completely upon a subject it would be achieved quickly and with a minimum of distraction. In fact in those rare moments when we do completely concentrate time itself seems to contract, there is also an inner sense of joy and accomplishment whenever task is completed.

Some call concentration an Art and being so it can be learnt and practiced, although lessons and methods are fairly easy they do require a sense of discipline, but if mastered benefits will be apparent throughout your life. Concentration also has an aspect about which most people are unaware, that is, when in deep concentration we are also connected more closely with our subconscious. This in itself can bring much understanding into our life. Many religious and philosophical practices are designed in order to stop our conscious mind being aware of many distractions around us while contemplating, their procedures all have one purpose of creating a deep connection initially to subconscious and then to higher spiritual realms. When we can fully concentrate upon a subject or a moment in time this connection opens and becomes available to us.

Closely associated with concentration is willpower, relationship is totally dependent without one you cannot have other. Think of an athlete in an Olympic running final, his willpower has sustained him in his goal of reaching final and eventually winning. But it is at that moment just before whistle blows where he needs his full concentration, if he allows distractions then all will be lost, other competitors and all spectators must be blocked from his mind. There are many other situations with which I'm sure you can imagine where both willpower and concentration are needed in equal parts.

We all have abilities and talents that we rarely use to fullest potential, we often think if I could just concentrate that little bit more I might make a success of this particular project, although this article can barely do subject of concentration justice, following exercises may be a starting point from which you begin a journey of self-discovery.