I've just discovered something amazing. The Roundup, my bi-weekly ezine, has a love life! As a matter of fact, it appears to be doing much better than I am in that respect. You see, The Roundup regularly receives email messages sent to its subscription address. The last one started, "Hi, It's been awhile since we talked. I'm wondering if you've been thinking about our last conversation…."
Oh, Roundup, you little devil you! Have you been sneaking around behind my back with other ezines?
It's not just The Roundup that I have to worry about. I also have a number of autoresponders that I use. In case anyone doesn't understand term "autoresponder," it's an automated email address. When you send a blank email to an autoresponder, technology automatically sends you a pre-written message. I use autoresponders on my web site to give visitors samples of my freely distributed articles. Well, danged if my autoresponders aren't carrying on illicit affairs behind my back as well. One of them is apparently involved with same sender whose wanton behavior with The Roundup is causing me so much concern. This autoresponder receives identical email message about remembering previous conversations. Jeesh, I could have a major war on my hands if this keeps up. All I need is for Roundup to find out about autoresponder, and then what?
Oh, wait! A new turn of events! The Roundup just received an email with "Get Your Share of E-Z Money" in subject line. This oughtta give it a competitive edge. As far as I know, autoresponder is stone, cold broke. It'll be no match for soon-to-be stinking rich Roundup.
Speaking of autoresponders, another one of mine -- and I am embarrassed about this -- has apparently been inviting communication with Heather, a gorgeous 19 year old who has to take nude pictures of herself to pay her college tuition. Well, Heather, I want you to understand something. My autoresponder does not have its own credit card. 'Nuff said? But you might try The Roundup. It'll soon be making lots of E-Z Money!