The Tyranny of the Good Girl, the Good Boy

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long asrepparttar author resource box atrepparttar 126149 end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: The Tyranny ofrepparttar 126150 Good Girl,repparttar 126151 Good Boy

Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: Word Count: 789 Category: Relationships, Emotional Healing

The Tyranny ofrepparttar 126152 Good Girl,repparttar 126153 Good Boy By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Many of us grew up in households where our profound needs for love and safety were not met. We did not feel safe and loved inrepparttar 126154 face of disapproval, criticism, rejection, abandonment, smothering, engulfment, physical abuse, sexual abuse. We did not feel safe when there was yelling, fighting, violence, substance abuse.

We had to do something to feel safe. Some of us figured out that we could have some control over our parents’ or other caregivers’ behavior if we were really good, if we attempted to do everything right. We figured out that if we disconnected from ourselves, from our own feelings and stayed acutely tuned intorepparttar 126155 feelings of those around us, we could have some control over getting some approval and avoiding what we feared. We learned to feel a degree of safety by being a good girl, a good boy.

The problem is that, while we may have had some success with this strategy in our childhood homes, this same strategy is now causing our problems in our relationships at work and at home. When we disconnect from our own feelings, we become invisible to ourselves. Others end up treating usrepparttar 126156 way we treat ourselves, so we become invisible to others as well. As adults, we end up bringing aboutrepparttar 126157 very rejection we are trying to avoid, because we are rejecting ourselves.

My client, Maria, gave merepparttar 126158 title of this article when she said, “I’m trapped inrepparttar 126159 tyranny of having to be a good girl.” Maria is struggling with her relationship with her boss, Andrea. Maria works as a trainer and is excellent at what she does. Like so many people who learned to control others through being good, Maria is a high achiever. She has also been very compliant with Andrea, changing plans and scurrying around to fulfill Andrea’s demands and expectations. However, she frequently ends up feeling stepped on and used by Andrea, as well as unseen and unappreciated. She has hadrepparttar 126160 same problem withrepparttar 126161 men in her life, having given and given torepparttar 126162 point of exhaustion while not receivingrepparttar 126163 love and acceptance she always hopes for.

The Hidden Superpowers Of Your Mind

Written by Michael Lee

The mind is an infinite wonder. It hasrepparttar fantastic ability to transmute your desires into their physical counterparts. You can do anything that your mind can conceive, as long as you haverepparttar 126148 belief and will power to back it up.

Takerepparttar 126149 case of cancer patients who were given placebo pills. These are just plain pills that have no healing capabilities. So how did they get well?

The power came from their thoughts. They were told that these pills containrepparttar 126150 highest amounts of cancer-fighing ingredients which can effectively cure them in a matter of days.

See how powerful your mind is?

They believed that their health will be restored. They have registered in their minds that these pills will cure them of their illnesses. Inrepparttar 126151 process,repparttar 126152 belief embedded within their subconscious came to reality.

So how can you use your mind to achieve your dreams? One ofrepparttar 126153 most effective ways is to userepparttar 126154 "as if" principle.

Act as if you arerepparttar 126155 person you want to be. Act as if you are already in possession of whatever you long to have.

So what do you want to be? You want to be a lawyer, doctor, athlete, or newscaster? Think, act, and feel like one. You'll be much closer to your goal if you're constantly intact with your objective. Be obsessed with your dream. It doesn't mean that if you want to be Superman you'll fly outrepparttar 126156 window. Not a good idea!

It's not enough that you act like one, but you have to actually ACT. Do what needs to be done. You might get so lost in your fantasy dreamworld that you've forgotten to take some action. Let your visions encourage and motivate you to actualize your purpose.

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